mac
Bankstown, Australia
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
jaqlove
Clementon, United States
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
foxbrat
United States
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Anonymous
Fear factor
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
no name
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
D:
Paris, France
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Anonymous
Rydalmere, Australia
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
shat
San Francisco, United States
YAAAAAAAAAAAASS
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Whyis Dremora
San Marcos, United States
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Yudith
Welcome!
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Anonymous
New Zealand
Night visitor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Top comments
LanceGoodthrust 19
Time to stop sleeping in the lounge... And stop being so damn sexy to cockroaches
LaurenLo 17
Time to burn down the house.
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Comments (93)
x14DollaRsx 12
That's awfullll
HKCgrimmjow 15
Really? I thought it was quite dandy. Don't you like dancing cockroaches on your face while you take a nap?
ironichalibut 24
I have a friend who puts little top hats on all their cockroaches. They even clean them up a bit! It doesn't really make them better dancers, but it really classes up the lil' b******s. Maybe Op should try that?
HKCgrimmjow 15
Your friend sounds like they are in need of a therapist.
ironichalibut 24
Jokes people.. It was a joke.
\ 28
I used a shrink-ray to open up a tiny restaurant for cockroaches. It's doing really great.
acommonman 23
no shit.
LaurenLo 17
Time to burn down the house.
arturo_s 10
Time to burn the roommate
whiteboy896 9
Time to burn the house down WITH the roommate inside.
SokDek 14
But roaches are immortal!!
Edumcg 24
Time to play The Sims.... oh wait....
tellyc 27
Nice roommate !
caohm 18
Thems fightin words
Liyuesigs 8
Agreed. Your roommate is nice not interrupting your nap.
LanceGoodthrust 19
Time to stop sleeping in the lounge... And stop being so damn sexy to cockroaches
BntyHntrSeattle 30
How is one "sexy to cockroaches??" Do I have to be afraid to sleep?
LanceGoodthrust 19
Maybe you have full, pouty lips and a come-hither smirk.. Cockroaches love that shit
SgtAssCheeks 21
Time to find a new roommate.
bahamut357 16
Time to find a new apartment/ house :/
SgtAssCheeks 21
Time to find a new town / region
antonia789 17
Time to find a new state/country..
ryan1268 18
TIME TO FIND A NEW UNIVERSE O.O
ironichalibut 24
Wow, that escalated quickly
WellThatSucked89 13
Actually it had a nice buildup. It did not escalate quickly.
SgtAssCheeks 21
Ryan you passed over "Time to find a new planet / solar system"
tanner060 3
Why would your roomate just sit there and watch?!
HiNowDie 17
They didn't just sit there and watch, they also recorded it. (; At least they didn't kill it, or attempt to, while it was crawling all over OP's face. I think an alive cockroach on your face is better than a crushed dead one.
JustKittyKat 24
Or a pissed off flying one. If it jumped then flew into OP's face again... Sideshow Bob Shudder.
Rallred32 20
Because that is how the roommate do.
Redoxx_fml 22
La cucaracha La cucaracha!
beaglegal 42
¡Yo no puedo caminar!
JustStella 28
So that's what they're saying!! I always sang gibberish at that part.
mackdeezy 22
The Cucharacha song is rather sadistic when you think about it. An upbeat tune telling the tale of a cockroach that can't walk anymore because it's legs were removed. But nope, this roach was walking all over op's face.
Sarah_Martin 14
You have such a nice roommate, at least you know what happens to you while you sleep
Redoxx_fml 22
At that point id rather not know.
Dre27 20
Just do something just as bad back to him. Rule #1 of life: Don't sleep with your friends around
derjoachim 6
It's not your friends you should be worried about, but your 'friends'.
Dre27 20
Honestly my best friends and I do shit like this to each other all the time, you have no sense of humor if you can't laugh at yourself.
BossMindedFemale 20
id rather not 'laugh at myself' if i have a cockroach crawling all over my face.
smokecloud_ 37
My friends like to chase me around with big ugly bugs... but a cockroach is taking it to a whole new level. *shudder*
DarkJediLove 19
Considering where you are from, at least it wasn't a spider...or drop bear.
ksks1234 33
The cockroaches are probably deadly as well.