Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
What do I get?
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I was mowing my grandma's lawn when I was suddenly swarmed by bees. When my grandma saw me covered in stings later on, she said, "Oh yeah, there are tons of bees in the grass! Be careful!" FML
Nice friends you got there
Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to the toilet, I went in and sat on the seat. Then I felt a stinging pain on my left bum cheek. I jumped up quickly to see a wasp splashing around in the bowl. It stung me, and now have a bum cheek twice its normal size, and pee all over my pants. FML
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
Public freakout
Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML
Top comments
tommyfox 19
Those bees must have been pissed.
Damian95 16
Come on now what's all the buzz about? All this hostility stings and its buggin me. Lets bee nice and just focus on how stupid this pun is.
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Comments (137)
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Dislike this comment
Damian95 16
Your comment really bugs me. It almost stings to read it.
Ukeee_X 19
How on Earth did you not know that it was a hive. Reading this makes me feel very fearful for humanity (and how you've lived past 12)
Ukeee_X 19
I do not, well can't you hear bees? I'm not born in the country side and I've only seen perhaps one in y life, and it was pretty obvious. It's not meant to be as cutting now I read it back, but I seriously am concerned how this person hasn't done serious damage to themselves.
LittlestPrincess 21
you say you've maybe only seen one in your life. maybe that's the same case for the OP and was this the first one he has ever seen.
Damian95 16
Come on now what's all the buzz about? All this hostility stings and its buggin me. Lets bee nice and just focus on how stupid this pun is.
Ukeee_X 19
He didn't know what it was, so he peed on it? Sounds very wise indeed.
KayleeT 9
He obviously thought that was the hole you pee into. He probably didn't see the hive because it was in a hole and sometimes holes tend to be ******* DARK.
Ukeee_X 19
I'm sorry but I'd find it disrespectful urinating inside other than in a toilet. Pee outside behind a tree, pretty safe. Just don't pee on things you don't know about...
sux4u121 10
1, OP said they saw a round thing in middle of the outhouse hole. Outhouses tend to be quite dark, and he probably only saw a dark outline of a shape. Even if that's not the case, why do you get so agressive because somebody can't recognize a behive?
Ukeee_X 19
You are fairly rude, does this really warrant swearing? I just said my opinion, and it's not particularly offensive (or directed at you personally.) I've said it was written a little harsh, I'm no monster. But seriously, it was a dumb thing for them to do, and I bet they'll learn from it. It was really just concern for their person, I mean... That's got to hurt?
iAlissa 34
#2, I'll be honest with you. Everything you say sounds incredibly ignorant. This guy most likely didnt know what a beehive looked like. Think about the situation from all angles before abruptly jumping to a rude conclusion
Ukeee_X 19
I'm sorry if I come off as aggressive. It's not meant to be like that. I'm not being aggressive, but I just wonder how long these people are kept inside not seeing/experiencing things.
RedPillSucks 31
@Ukeee_X- An outhouse is an outdoor bathroom with no plumbing. There's just a small building the size of most apartment closets, with a bench and a hole cut in the middle of it. Even if you're totally familiar with the outdoors, this would be the last place you would expect a beehive.
BobbieH 19
How on Earth do you not know that its dark inside the hole in an outhouse? You can't see what down there, and you shouldn't want to.
netsirkylime2 9
Outhouses are bathrooms... And it's a room outside... How is is disrespectful to go to the bathroom in an outhouse? I'm wondering how long you were kept inside not experiencing things 33....
Ukeee_X 19
In the UK we don't have "outhouses" or at least not for about 60 years or so. So that's ignorance on my behalf for not knowing about the US's toilet habits. Sorry. That's not through a lack of experience though.
netsirkylime2 9
Most people in the US don't use outhouses. I've never personally used an outhouse, but I still know what it is...
MrConcise 34
@55 - You metaphorically pissed on a beehive with your original comment. I know everyone is adding their two cents as two why you're wrong and it's probably frustrating, but in reality, they're right. The circumstances are unusual, including the outhouse (not modern American toilet practices, but he was visiting the elderly on a farm).
maniaccy 8
In the end, I hope we can all agree that he was very lucky for not being a girl and having his privates brutally stung.
tacojauns 45
@Ukeee_X I've got to say I haven't seen anyone on FML constantly get thumbed down more than 3 times and just keep replying, most people know when to shut the **** up
DeidaraAkatsuki 17
I live in the uk, and damn right we have outhouses.
SMHsohard 22
Wow, Ukeee, you are one tenacious little girl. Unfortunately, when you're tenacious about a subject of which you have no knowledge, it just comes across as annoying. Seriously, though, the noise from a bee hive is mostly the bees moving their wings very quickly to keep the hive cool. If it wasn't too warm in the outhouse, they may have been quiet. And, as someone else pointed out, you really don't want to examine things in an outhouse too closely.
FameNFortune 12
Who the **** cares . He peed on it not you so chill the **** out . Its kinda pointless Arguing over a guy urinating on a bee hive .
fishstick557 14
YOU DENSE ************
King_paradox 22
Say it again
King_paradox 22
It's not pointless. His stupidity warrants an iq test
gurly98 13
2 Dude, just stop talking...
CrookedCook 14
fearful for humanity? get over yourself.
chocolateisyum 12
Stop being a stuck up bitch who tries to inform others on a topic that she knows nothing about. It doesn't make everyone on FML like you because you are 'strong-willed', but makes them hate you because you are an ignorant, bossy, annoying bitch who needs to get the **** off FML. @Ukeee_X
chocolateisyum 12
Just leave please, no one wants to hear you frantically attempting to defend your ignorant ass.
philbelfrage 13
33 obviously doesn't understand the rush that a man feels when he urinates on something he isn't supposed to. Although in this case his urine was targeted towards a proper location.
Mauskau 35
You're so irritably thick. Not everyone knows what a bee hive looks like. I don't, I only know what they look like in cartoons but I doubt they actually look like that. Don't be such an ignoramous and shut the hell up. There's a reason why every comment of yours is hidden.
ThirstyGrunt 6
I sort of agree with "number 2". I mean, you noticed a random, round object in the toilet. You didn't know what it was, so you pee on it anyway? Not going to say he deserved it, because it wasn't his fault...but that was still pretty stupid.
iAlissa 34
Definitely the biggest FML fight I've seen haha
Olympiakos10 15
#96 Do you know how dark an outhouse is? There ain't no windows in there, just think of the outhouse from Shrek.
BjgUsername 12
While #2 is extremely condescending about it, she does bring up some what of a valid point, how does one even get into this situation? Yes a beehive could be hidden in an out house theoretically, but if it was an active hive wouldn't bees be flying all around it? Growing up I had one [beehive, not outhouse] near my house and it always had bees buzzing around if memory serves... That being said, what guy would 'pull it out' when there is a swarm of bees around?
KayleeT 9
How are you gonna say that he's dumb though for not seeing it was a hive when YOU didn't even know what an outhouse was? If suggest that in the future, don't question someone else's intelligence when you don't even know yourself what something is. And it DID come off as aggressive when you said that he made you "fear for humanity" just because he made a mistake
soccerstar1996 18
This Ukee bitch needs to buzz off
Wimoweh 10
Wow. This has been the most entertaining FML fight to have read in all my 3 (or so) years of using this site. And that's mainly because six or seven people replied to Ukeee after the argument was over. Bravo, ladies and gentlemen, bravo.
Wimoweh 10
I've read these comments again, there were actually around 15 comments after the argument ended. Lol.
KeXu 6
OP didn't know what a beehive was like. This lady didn't know what an outhouse was like. Cheesecake is delicious. That's just the way things are.
MDTeddy 13
Everything ukeee_x said was nothing helpful. How is it weird to pee in an outhouse? That is what it is for. Also, it is going to be hard to make out a beehive even if you seen plenty of them. Idk if you could hear them, but maybe Op didn't hear them at the time until it was too late. If you know you will not win an argument then just stop talking.
mrkhan17 8
Your comment is why i believe in humanity again. Love me some common sence.
Chucks719 4
you are my hero
friedpwnadge 25
Wow, reading all the comments from ukeee really make me lose faith in humanity. No kind of judgemental and culturally biased ingrate like them should ever have the honor of first comment. There should be a filter for douchebag first comments in the site policy.
JFloUnknown 24
I want to be a part of this train! choo choo!!
dissention 4
Signed in for the first time in forever just to say that Ukeee is hilariously stupid. I'm rolling over here at how dumb you are.
purpl3fac371 5
Whoa. Must have put you in a pretty p!ssy mood.
cyanidesandwich 21
You fail for thinking there's a censor for pissy.
purpl3fac371 5
Like your dad's condom..?
jakeydudey 13
Just putting it out there... That was a crap comeback.
tommyfox 19
Why are you being too much of a p!ssy to spell it out?
ilovedinosawers 17
You tried.
purpl3fac371 5
Sounds like some really rastled jamjams :^(
iAlissa 34
...the ****?^
cyanidesandwich 21
What the **** are "jamjams"
saad2605 16
Here we go again. First #2 now #3.
iAlissa 34
The comments on this particular FML have made me facedesk pretty hard.
venom2421 10
No! Don't ruin your face! You look very beautiful in that picture, don't ruin it. And you have amazing eyes, yup I'm a sucker for the eyes..
friedpwnadge 25
Venom2421 is trying to get the V from an Fml commenter. We've reached a new level of desperation here.
katybug950 3
Burnnnnn
\ 28
Practice safe peeing.
Kruiser 16
It coulda been worse, you could have been pooping *shudders*
JFloUnknown 24
That would really suck ass. Or more like sting ass.
\ 28
Or cover itself in poop and raucously proclaim its love for ass.
timotay 4
12th commandment: that shalt not pee on things thou cannot identify.
lonewolf621 17
Run to the hillllllls!
mrnikc 11
Run for your life!!!!!
Enslaved 36
"run for your lives" ~Iron Maiden Edit: beat me by seconds! Love that you're so young and still know this song!(:
lukep135 6
I'm pretty sure both comments are reference to the rush song..
BlackRogue 8
103- no... It's Iron Maiden. It's one of their best songs. "White man came across the sea, He brought us pain and misery."
tommyfox 19
Those bees must have been pissed.
Olympiakos10 15
What kind of bees think to themselves, "Hey guys, you know the place where the giants shit. Wouldn't that be the PERFECT place to live?!"
Reaper1984 13
I usually have a saying, " Its better to be pissed off than pissed on". I believe its safe to say the bees were both
death943 10
I don't get all the buzz about the bee jokes..
nbandofbrothers 10
You didn't know what it was did so you pee on it? If I was like that I would be peeing on lots of things.
rg350dx 29
So you'd be a dog.
waffle3z 6
If you see something in a toilet, you pee on it. It isn't like he climbed into a tree, noticed a round object with a hole, and said, 'oh, I'd better pee on that!' No.
Pleonasm 35
You're just going to hope to bee very lucky and to not have pissed them off. Otherwise, urine a lot of trouble, and it's going to sting a lot more than when you pee.
death943 10
Hive saw your jokes and they made me pissed that you took all of the good jokes.
Catkam623 27
Better to be pissed off then pissed on but stung or pissed on I think I'll take pissed on.
Zack6849 8
So it's better for op to be pissed off AND pissed on?
netsirkylime2 9
This is a time when the difference between then and than is important.
gracehi 31
"Your firearms are useless against them."
ropeandneck 7
jumanji ?
rg350dx 29
Tommy boy.
jackaced 7
I knew the ref :D 'They're ripping my flesh off!'