Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML
Today, I started petting my cousin's Doberman. Now, whenever I stop he growls menacingly. FML
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, I thought I was seeing double. My neighbours got a new dog, which is exactly the same as the other one, except that it hates me twice as much. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML
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Top comments
FortuneCookie3 1
attack it every time it barks
ICATiger 13
Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...
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Comments (83)
boydeee01 7
Haha. Guess you can't laugh now.
DooleyFTW 17
Thanks for the help captain obvious! We couldn't have done it without you.
mcmadbat 3
Op can laugh when the dog isn't around
muzy 23
Speak for yourself #16 I'm sure most if us would have gotten it regardless and as for you OP, first of all :) I'm sorry about you current predicament. Perhaps you could replace your laugh with the infamous Lol :) ?
arttyruiz 7
I guess the dog has no sense of humor...
HubbaBubba259_fml 0
If you laugh like the kid from the Simpsons, I can't blame your dog...
enonymous 9
New dog needing to be petted and fed... This is no laughing matter...
CondomSense 4
That's what I do when my dog barks.. keeps the alpha status in your home.
CondomSense 4
LOL, good on you. Kill the beast! Strike its damned heart!!
CondomSense 4
MrPhucked, are you not a native English speaker..?
ColdplaySucks 18
Kick the dog if he attacks you. Then he'll learn you're the boss.
GovernorGeneral 8
Maybe OPs parents hate his/her laugh :D
ArcadePie 10
Next time it attacks shove your finger up his bum and it will calm down
sinking_fish 12
83- you know from personal experience? I don't wanna try unless it's proven. -.-
MLK12345 4
I wonder if op laughs like Thurnis Haley.
raphanne_fml 33
#84 I wouldn't want to try even if it's proven...
alexwarfield333 1
#16 you're a jerk
wishfulmidget 0
YDI for laughing!
sinking_fish 12
94- I don't know of anyone that would. :p
ArcadePie 10
84- yeah it works on every type of bitch
FortuneCookie3 1
attack it every time it barks
markrs 0
What a nice dog :) protecting his/her owners from too much carbon-dioxide from your obnoxious laughs :)
Poser1337 5
Use it as a science project. P.S. Is the kid that throws paper down girls shirts in your class?
philipino 24
I'm god, MUTHAFUUCKAAAA
AlaskanEskimo34 0
The dog sounds like ******* Hitler.
CoolRainbowdash 15
The dog is a bitch
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Did you get it from Michael Vick?
AlaskanEskimo34 0
^Thumbed myself down, that even offended me.
philipino 24
I love getting buried. Sometimes I do it on purpose. It's my fetish. :3
CheckItOutItsYou 7
116: wow you offended yourself, that's.. well odd
AlaskanEskimo34 0
It's a process
ICATiger 13
Guess it's the dog who gets the last laugh...
TheMaster15 10
Or every laugh now, for that matter.
Poser1337 5
I'm guessing for you it's not a laughing matter.
Shelta957 13
That is one messed up dog
thisisafunnyname 12
Time to go all Michael Vick on that bitch.
D37H100 5
You must have an annoying laugh.
GoW_Chick 15
Op's dog "canine get a break without your barking laughter you bitch!"
yahoowizard 16
Yeah! You should get your laughbox replaced or removed (+1 for reference)
roxneemeh 3
That sucks. :( But maybe as it gets to know you more and more and get adjusted to it's new settings it'll stop doing it.
Poser1337 5
Nope. I'd go with, A. The dog is mean. B. Their laugh sounds like a howler monkey.
micahsmommy 13
Quit laughing at the dog. That's not very nice.
giowu 0
Well that ******* sucks, kill that bitch >:]
lindseykcool 6
^^ shut up.
CryMoreFMLs 15
8 - Do the world a favor and test the method on yourself first. I suggest arsenic injection.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Establish dominance.
Ecklcakes 15
Apparently having sex in front of it works.
DeadxManxWalking 27
Time to get you a muzzle.
xbrit551 13
"mom, I'm about to laugh go get the muzzle!"
MrPhucked 0
i think he meant get the muzzle for himself so he cant laugh anymore ._. its a joke...?
Awsumuzzie 12
I think an awesome muzzie would work as well.
DeadxManxWalking 27
25- Yes you are correct.