Spiders, Scary and Animals: SPIDERS!

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 995

You deserved it 7 348

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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 952

You deserved it 6 198

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 777

You deserved it 3 384

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 649

You deserved it 48 187

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 255

You deserved it 929

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 779

You deserved it 9 641

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 376

You deserved it 15 346

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 056

You deserved it 3 200

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 507

You deserved it 2 275

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 797

You deserved it 4 967

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 1 043

bethan1 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:42

For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

At 18 :P

Comments

badboy310 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:23

dude I hope ur not scared from spiders or baby spider oh yeah first

Specterk50 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:29

I am....plus I thought spiders laid eggs

iJamesJamesable 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:37

don't baby spiders hitch a ride on their mother's back?

badboy310 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:55

some spiders don't lay eggs actully

Lolerskatez 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 13:11

I killed one the other day a while bunch of babies ran off of it was kinda cool til I realized what'd I'd done lol xD

UnicornsDoExist 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:41

Ooooh, sick D:

Mehness 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:02

9 - Not sure whether it's a minority or majority, but some lay eggs, and some lay eggs in a pouch for their young to travel along with them.

ShorTiE4LyFe 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:19

One time, I found a prego spider at school and I squished it. And then we made a game on who could squish the most baby spiders. XD

hairt 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:29

#80 OMFG EWW LOL

Selena_is_back 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:29

baby spiders are hitchhikers... XD

theporkchop 0

Monday 1 November 2010 2:48

haha squish squish.

johnsonvillecity 0

Monday 1 November 2010 4:36

if you step on a pregnant spider shouldn't the babies be crushed too?

Mister_Grinch 0

Monday 1 November 2010 5:02

Am I missing something here because as far as I know, Spiders aren't squishable toys where the cotton just magically comes out. Baby spiders weren't already born inside of her ready to pop out like donut cream at any given time. Also, don't spiders lay eggs? I have a feeling that this is a troll fml.