Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

#18490
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38777) - you deserved it (8287)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by leelee50 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my husband found the box my morning after pill came in. He had a vasectomy 10 years ago. FML

#18272
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (438677)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by apricot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Rbuckyfuller's comment : Yeah, I agree that he should be posting here, not you. I'm not saying you are a bad person, because I don't know shit about you, but you don't deserve the sympathy of this forum.

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Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML

#18256
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40619) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by p00p_m0nsta (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13212) - you deserved it (147047)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

cyndee_2010's comment : i hope she dumped you

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Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML

#18236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (12541)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by hatethatiloveyou (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (2914)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

#18143
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85668) - you deserved it (17863)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl entered the public washroom I was washing my hands in. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks. I then saw her go to the door to make sure she was actually in the girl's washroom. FML

#18109
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35895) - you deserved it (4313)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by a manly woman? (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

#18079
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37193) - you deserved it (4035)

On 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

#18036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38577) - you deserved it (4231)

On 02/09/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by BearMan (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I wore a cute new striped shirt to work. One of my co-workers said to me "I like your shirt. Most fat people don't look good in horizontals." FML

#17532
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (4083)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by alie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77749) - you deserved it (4721)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)



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