Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

by Parental / 01/22/2010 at 12:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, all because whenever I laugh I say "lol." FML

by heartbroken / 01/21/2010 at 8:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

el_erico's comment : That is a completely rational reason to break up with someone. I would probably have stabbed you in the neck by then.

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Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML

by hardtotell / 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way to old for him. I'm 3 years younger than my fiancé. FML

by walkingonsunshine / 01/21/2010 at 7:14pm / Love

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

by diorlove / 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

by charlieweaver21 / 01/21/2010 at 5:02pm / Love

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

by nocatlover / 01/21/2010 at 4:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

by imalwaystired / 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm / Health

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

by jalapeno_popper / 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a cashier in a grocery store. The visiting regional manager tore me a new one for being lazy. His reason? After working a double shift with no break, I decided to sit down for a minute when things got slow. FML

by Bob / 01/21/2010 at 8:33am / Canada (Alberta) / Work