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Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

#122747
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19452) - you deserved it (51064)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)

bobdole's comment : the economy is rough. lemonade is expensive.

See all the comments →

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19869) - you deserved it (49121)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

#121719
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21281) - you deserved it (51326)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57am - intimacy - by Byron fiddles (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

#121657
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19210) - you deserved it (27385)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:02am - misc - by ouagadougou (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years. FML

#121656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (16869)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:01am - intimacy - by secret123 - United States

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

#121635
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Ren (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML

#121386
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43704) - you deserved it (4936)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70156) - you deserved it (18358)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62647) - you deserved it (7139)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7163) - you deserved it (49899)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ends the conversation with "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "Thats great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

#120027
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8034) - you deserved it (51264)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said "hey" when he was next to me. He said, "the pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

#119567
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6193) - you deserved it (40340)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by sillyrabbit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

#118057
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59593) - you deserved it (6807)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:31pm - love - by Kfeaaa (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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