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Man or woman?

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

#718521
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12436) - you deserved it (65044)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

#717975
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (82414)

On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

#713062
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111023) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101084) - you deserved it (5258)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

#710815
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96486) - you deserved it (15932)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

#709735
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105364) - you deserved it (7787)

On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

#706614
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28921) - you deserved it (74565)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm - work - by Donzai (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

#705801
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53479) - you deserved it (16656)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

#703892
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58490) - you deserved it (6271)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

#703894
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (186789) - you deserved it (31086)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, my mom has been calling me every ten minutes, asking me questions about her new computer. She called me at work, and I rudely answered her question. She called back, talked to my boss, saying she was a customer that called in, and I was rude to her. FML

#701960
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78385) - you deserved it (15046)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Tiak (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63878) - you deserved it (4201)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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