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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

#5664241
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36676) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47586) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

#5662905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7506) - you deserved it (39792)

On 10/05/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by backwardsinlife - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

#5661944
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by omfgmaya - Denmark (Vestsjalland)

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/suprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

#5661916
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9879) - you deserved it (39356)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

#5661847
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by swedishguy (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML

#5661357
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10817) - you deserved it (28460)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

#5660811
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34869) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/05/2009 at 11:45am - kids - by musicalkitcat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

#5659886
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (3021)

On 10/05/2009 at 9:55am - love - by Konstantine (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

#5658731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40247) - you deserved it (1925)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:11am - misc - by corfan01 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

#5658558
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8381) - you deserved it (34159)

On 10/05/2009 at 6:49am - work - by Me (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

#5656248
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by razzipost1 - Canada (Alberta)



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