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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (2200)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9832) - you deserved it (35339)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19484) - you deserved it (2157)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was listening to a client's heartbeat with a stethoscope, when I noticed one of my hairs had fallen on her chest. I tried to brush it off, but it didn't move, so I went to pick it up with my fingers. That's when I found it it wasn't my hair, it was hers... and it was still attached. FML

#8900483
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (5323)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:44pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML

#8899793
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (2588)

On 03/07/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by space_cadet90818 (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (3019)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is getting engaged. He broke up with me five months ago because our relationship was too serious for him. FML

#8893586
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (2358)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:20pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

#8893190
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28868) - you deserved it (4409)

On 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm - misc - by SadFace (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the guy that I have been seeing for over a year left on a business trip. While straightening out his room as a favor, I noticed he took his condoms with him. FML

#8892224
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (3238)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML

#8892193
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (3209)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by workinggirl (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21305) - you deserved it (5242)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24996) - you deserved it (2088)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML

#8890644
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12430) - you deserved it (21528)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)



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