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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

#11246854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (2537)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

#11240102
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (39773)

On 06/16/2010 at 12:28pm - misc - by theorifice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

#11238681
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (17918)

On 06/16/2010 at 10:42am - health - by Joy (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)

Today, my boyfriend thought he gave me unimaginable pleasure. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had cramp in both my legs at the same time. FML

#11236853
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (7403)

On 06/16/2010 at 7:32am - intimacy - by kitkat1603 (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML

#11225858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61100) - you deserved it (7508)

On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally weighed myself after going on a strict diet of only fruits, vegetables, and coffee. I gained weight. FML

#11218356
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (21055)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm three months pregnant. Hours after the father of my baby bought me a wedding ring, he decided to get drunk and tell me that he doesn't see himself with me for the rest of his life, and doesn't really want to get married. Oh and he hates my dog. FML

#11217178
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42749) - you deserved it (6898)

On 06/15/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I awoke to find that my car had been burglarized in my own driveway and several hundred dollars worth of electronics were stolen. I only later discovered that my campus parking pass had also been stolen when I got a $75 ticket while taking a chemistry test. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

#11211630
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43924) - you deserved it (5373)

On 06/15/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Mamasboyhater - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

#11209991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (15022)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:11am - love - by milkybear (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me I was fired 3 weeks ago because there was no money to pay me, meaning that I worked the last three weeks for free. FML

#11198963
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43450) - you deserved it (2865)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (26979)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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