imightbemortal

thatsucks 28 February 2009, 11:10 United Kingdom

The bitch is back

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

74 comments

caught out This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff London, United Kingdom

Toilet humour

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

103 comments

dieana This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff Lacombe, Canada

Felt cute

Today, I actually uttered the words, "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

93 comments