SApprentice

About Sapprentice

I try to be a very nice person, because people should be nice to each other. However, I honestly feel disdain and contempt for a lot of people. It makes me a bit of an a** sometimes. I apologize if I'm ever an a** to you. I'm getting married in a few months. My life has sucked for years, but maybe it'll get better soon. My fiance and I are planning on children soon after our wedding, and I'm really hoping I don't mess them up. Whatever my faults, I want to be a good mom. Text speak, poor grammar, and bad spelling all bother me. I refuse to type like that. I believe that all humans, including myself, are terrible monsters, and life is about trying to be a little less of a horrible person. That's about everything. I hope your day goes well. Edit: I am happily married to my wonderful husband, and have become a very content mother. Life has never been so pleasant for me.

Sapprentice - Followers

Sapprentice - Followed

Sapprentice's page visits

Hugged!

Sapprentice's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Friendless, or not going out tonight?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1 a.m. Happy New Year!
Back from the party
An FML submitted between 5 and 6 a.m. can't be very good.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Tell us what happened next
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
My diary is a collector's item
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
I'm an early bird, but no worm yet
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
Night owl
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
Socialite
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML, that was subsequently published, and statistically this makes you an exceptional person.
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

5%
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.

32%
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

64%
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

0%
Picture this FML
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

0%
I liked to the power of 20
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.

0%
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

5%
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

68%

The list of badges to find

Sapprentice's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Monday 29 July 2013 21:18 / United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at his parents' house. I was overjoyed. His mom hugged me with tears in her eyes. His father, who never really spoke before, hugged me a few hours later when we were alone, his hands traveling to my ass and whispering, "I can change your mind." FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ilivehere - / Wednesday 17 July 2013 14:20 / United States - Moline

Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Sarah91 / Monday 13 October 2008 08:23 /

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Aliiiice - / Tuesday 16 July 2013 13:18 / France - Offranville

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By JustAnotherFML23 - / Wednesday 4 September 2013 01:32 / United States - Seattle

SApprentice

This isn't what should be happening

Friendless, or not going out tonight?

Back from the party

Mobility

I NEED to know!

The rules are the rules

Work is a 4-letter word

Checking you out

Tell us what happened next

My diary is a collector's item

Happy ending

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

I never take things to heart

I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

Night owl

Socialite

I moderated this!

One ring to rule them all

A new thumb

100 kick-ass comments

It's in the can!

Profile completed

Consolation prize

50 favorites

Beginner

Judgmental

YDI Master

I agree, my mouse works.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

Perfectionist

Up and coming moderator

50 quality comments

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

The return of the thumb

The thumb strikes back

I’m your new creative director

Picture this FML

I liked to the power of 20

Tweet, tweet

One more and it's business time