alexis0793

that guy This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Atascadero, United States

Paternity test

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

122 comments

actually just constipated.. and stupid 4 March 2015, 15:03 Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

86 comments