ma19m

What a thoughtful gift

Today, I brought my best friend to the strip club as a birthday gift, as he had mentioned that he'd never been to one before. It might have been ruined by the discovery that his daughter had a new job. FML

Today, Christmas Eve, I told my wife she has three presents to choose from: one large, one small and one tiny. She immediately responded, "Is the tiny one in your pants?". FML