Mr Lethbridge 31 years-old It's complicated
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, my husband purposefully said something to upset me. When I asked why he would do that, he told me it was to test my Prozac. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of a year because I discovered she had been cheating on me. Her defense was, "It wouldn't be a problem if you were just OK with this." FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I realized I'm pussy whipped by a chick I'm not even dating. FML
Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML
Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML
Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML
Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML
Today, I was on hold with a company for so long that I was able to shower, clean my house, and was using the hold music to put my son to sleep. FML
Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML
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