Mr the ghetto, USA
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML
Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML
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