The Top

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Shove it, lady

By Anonymous - 07/01/2021 13:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my neighbor complained that the trailers and sheds in my yard are ruining her view. The same neighbor who built her house right above my property, thereby ruining my view, and leaving not even enough space for a hedge in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 039

You deserved it 91

Family dynamics

By Anonymous - 21/04/2022 04:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my mom told me how happy she is that I'm living with her. No wait, that was a month ago. Now she tells me it’s “bad timing” that I'm living with her while she potentially has a new boyfriend, because things like me demanding that people tidy up after themselves might upset him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 170

Blush

By Anonymous - 12/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new pair of white pants, feeling fancy. Halfway through the day, I discovered a ketchup stain that looked suspiciously like a heart right on the front. That explained why people kept giving me sympathetic nods as I walked by, probably thinking I'd spilled my heart on my sleeve… or my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 125

Hush!

By Mommy issue - 19/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I took my toddler to a library story hour. He sat quietly for almost ten minutes, which should have been my first warning. Right as the librarian began reading a dramatic part, my son pointed at her and shouted, “That lady is very old.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 102

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eating a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 167

Cut your losses

By Sober_smashley - 16/06/2023 10:00

Today, my alcoholic boyfriend, who's in jail for violating his conditional bond, told me I'd better not have even one drop of alcohol while he's gone. Oh, and he expects $250 of commissary each week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 647

Motivation

By anon - 14/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 744

Grunt work

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Spartanburg

Today, my coworkers wouldn't help cover the front desk and help answer phones at work. They had agreed to do this with our three bosses in the room, after having a discussion about it and coming to an agreement to do this in two hour shifts. They are both older than me and have less work to do than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 66

Shipping culture

By Anonymous - 07/03/2022 14:00

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 125

What's his problem?

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was selected to go on a business trip for the first time in over a decade. I called my brother about it, who then proceeded to call into question every single aspect of the trip, affirming that his wife did everything different on her trips. I had to hang up before he had me questioning my own employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 84

Happy Father's Day

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 119

Still mad about Toys R Us

By Frank - 19/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 637

Old school internet athiest

By Fuck you bitch - 25/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I yet again had to endure one of my patients talking about how their "faith in God" helped them. No bitch, the MEDICINE helped you, not your fake "God" who hates queer people like me. I wish I could yank your IV and see how much help "God" is to you then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 620

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 03:00 - United States - Isle

Today, I woke up to the most excruciating pain in my jaw. No dentist that takes my insurance has any openings, and the one doctor I can see to get antibiotics isn’t in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 114

Slam dunk

By Yuk - 29/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 1 227

Peak toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 13/03/2022 06:00

Today, ever since he beat him in wrestling, my husband has been trying to prove he’s manlier than our son, proving only that he’s the most childish in the house. I had to put a stop to it after he tried to stand up to the PTSD-suffering veteran at the end of our street, and got put in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 144

Double FML

By Kelly - 26/06/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 135

That'll be a no from me, dawg

By Anonymous - 25/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 154

Mythbusters

By Anonymous - 02/07/2026 22:00 - United States - St Louis

Today, I’ve realized the whole “men are more sexual than women” isn’t true. I have ended up in two long-term relationships with two different men who had zero sex drive, stopped any sort of romantic connection/flirting, and then it felt like I just had a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 107

More context please

By Anonymous - 30/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I invited my mom over for lunch so we could discuss how she broke my trust while she last babysat for me, and that as a result she won’t be babysitting for a little while. She then yelled at me and told me I was being disrespectful and dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 137

Sweet, my ass

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 21:30 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 120

Got milk?

By Bro - 09/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 256

The past is the past

By Boudoir Babes Hubby - 04/07/2023 06:00

Today, I’ve met the last of my wife’s ex-boyfriends. She’s been out of touch with all of them since we met, but after seeing their shared looks, I'm convinced they all have naked pictures of her. How recent they are is the only remaining question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 827

Magnifico

By Vocabulary - 04/12/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 132

Sorry sweaty…

By Anonymous - 12/07/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to tell my daughter that she can't go on the cruise with her cousins because she has strep throat. She's been raging and screaming and crying for hours, even accusing us of deliberately making her sick. My heart is just shattered and I don't know how to deal with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 94

Ego boost

By FatBeachGirl - 21/03/2022 00:00

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 528

You deserved it 211

Quality family time

By hangry girl - 13/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I ordered enough takeout for 3 people. When the delivery guy smiled and asked, "Family dinner?" I panicked and said, "They're parking." Even though I know that the delivery guy doesn't really give a shit, I stood outside my apartment for 5 minutes pretending to wait for imaginary relatives before going back inside alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 376

Kids these days…

By RAZR MeowMix - 30/01/2021 21:30

Today, my youngest started playing Fortnite. My oldest has been playing competitively for a couple of years. My youngest is now addicted and needs a new computer to run it at max settings. I hate Fortnite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 503

Classic blunder

By Jake404 - 10/07/2023 00:02 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up at a coffee shop. I arrived early, feeling nervous but excited. As I sat waiting, I noticed a person waving at me from across the room. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that they were actually waving at someone behind me. My date never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 126

No fun allowed

By Annie S. - 16/07/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend and toddler little sister were happily being silly, with each other going "WHOA!!!" and acting like they were being blown around by a huge gust of wind… every time, right after I'd sneezed, which I have been doing all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 116

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The Top

Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 684

You deserved it 4 367

Today, I broke a tooth. It’s Friday. Not a single dentist office is open. The good news? I might lose those last few pounds as I can’t drink or eat without excruciating pain. Needless to say, it’s going to be a long weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 710

You deserved it 279

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 1 934

Today, my boyfriend's 13-year-old daughter called me a "stupid f**ing b****" on Snapchat because her dad wouldn't go on the trampoline with her. I had nothing to do with any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 140

Today. I worked my 10-hour shift and drove over 3 hours to the hotel that I'd reserved a room at for 3 nights. The hotel required ID to get a room with a bank or credit card. I realized I'd lost my state ID, they wouldn't accept my work photo ID, they won't let me pay cash… No ID, no room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 174

Today, my mom casually told me, "Remember that time we went to build a swing set when you were four? Actually, I was going to hang myself and take you with me so that you didn't suffer in this life. If it wasn't for your Grandma, we wouldn't be here now. And when I took you to the lake… Oh, silly me!" Cool, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 83