The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Concerned mom · 6 December 2024, 09:00 ·Tacoma, United States

Louis Pasteur wept

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 495 You deserved it 143

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Lauren · 13 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Not the time or the place

Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 353

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Well, shit · 7 December 2024, 22:00 ·Canada

Hot shit

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591 You deserved it 104

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Loveless · 16 July 2026, 12:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Drama!

Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 76

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Anonymous · 11 December 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Harsh words

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 892

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Lenore · 18 July 2026, 03:00 ·Belgium

Dragging of feet

Today, I googled which documents we needed to provide to sell our marital home. It took me three minutes and I have to complete list. My ex-husband, who's been complaining we have to sell as soon as possible, is ignoring the list, because he bought a book on houses, and wants to read it first. He hasn't read a book in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328 You deserved it 58

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banarama · 5 February 2021, 07:54

Dealbreaker

Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811 You deserved it 214

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Anonymous · 13 December 2024, 03:00 ·Darjeeling, India

Blues trio

Today, I've been trying to fit into a trio but nothing's working out. Most of the time I'm left alone, then when I talk with one of them, the other one complains about being left out. I don't know how to fit in properly without making one or the other sad or unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 You deserved it 399

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Anonymous · 21 July 2026, 00:00 ·Klingnau, Switzerland

Dating sucks

Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 76

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Anonymous · 14 July 2023, 03:00 ·Paris, France 🌶️ Spicy

Some people are into that sort of thing

Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 285

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Anonymous · 14 December 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Trust

Today, I found out that my husband read my journal behind my back when he got mad over something I'd written in it. This is the same journal that my therapist told me to keep, to help me get past my trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 22 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Nothing?

Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 17 December 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

The weakest link

Today, at work I accidentally shut down a computer that does the essential routine jobs and hasn’t been turned off in 11 years. When it turned on again all the updates we’ve been ignoring decided to run at the same time. The run time is currently 4 hours and our whole office is in a shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272 You deserved it 546

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Bad fiancee · 19 December 2024, 22:00 ·Romania

Moment of self-realization

Today, I caught my fiance lying about being at work. Furious, I started breaking his things, demanding to know what skank he'd been sneaking around with. He gave me a stack of receipts, saying he'd been Christmas shopping. He's not cheating, just getting me everything I wanted. God, I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 You deserved it 1 641

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Middle Age Divorced Dad · 27 July 2026, 09:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Bad seed

Today, my youngest daughter failed kindergarten. After 3 years of petit section, junior and senior kindergarten, she still doesn't recognize the teacher's authority. For example, when the teachers are trying to line the children up to come in after recess, she's pulling the kids out of the line and yelling, "Run away!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 155 You deserved it 402

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Tucson, United States

Snaggled

Today, I bought some beef jerky. As I put the first piece in my mouth, I thought to myself, "Wow, this is tough enough to break a tooth." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 387 You deserved it 3 621

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Anonymous · 30 March 2022, 10:00 ·Colombo, Sri Lanka

Energy crisis

Today, my country announced that there will be 10 hours of power cuts starting from tomorrow. This basically means that if I want to begin my day at 8:00 am, it will only really get started at 6:00 pm, once the sun is down and the birds are done chirping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 29 July 2026, 20:00 ·Australia

Clack clack

Today, I heard my washing machine making a strange noise. I nervously waited for the cycle to end so I could open it and investigate. The noise was my car keys. I'd somehow washed them, my wallet and $20 without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 You deserved it 317

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Broke girl · 31 July 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Happy birthday!

Today, I told my friends that I’d cover dinner for my birthday. Five minutes later, my bank app hit me with a low-balance alert. Everyone had already picked their orders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 431

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Anonymous · 16 February 2021, 07:58 ·Australia

Teamwork works

Today, I had a huge amount of work to get through. Two colleagues offered to help, because one had nothing else to do, and the other couldn't work until I was done. My boss got really pissed at me for "making" them do my job and wasting their time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062 You deserved it 116

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Dog dad · 26 December 2024, 12:00 ·United States

Dogs for Christmas

Today, I bought my dog an expensive plushie toy because I thought it would last longer than the cheap ones. He ignored it completely and spent two hours playing with the cardboard box it came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331 You deserved it 209

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Anonymous · 3 August 2026, 20:00 ·Winchester, United States 🌶️ Spicy

XXX rated

Today, I finally acted on a fantasy and did a bondage shoot video. The first comment on the clip was, "Hard watch. Fat as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 268 You deserved it 215

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Anonymous · 28 December 2024, 09:00 ·Richmond, United States

Sentimental value

Today, my husband convinced me to donate all the sentimental items around our house, like the kids' old toys. Now I feel absolutely gutted, like we gave away tons of our family history, but everyone else is so happy that things are less cluttered, so I just play along. I feel so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390 You deserved it 446

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Anonymous · 17 February 2021, 17:01

None of your business

Today, I told my mom my husband and I were considering having another baby. She said, "No!" about 30 times. Then later she texted me that she insists on no more kids. I guess I will never have that bonding moment with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942 You deserved it 180

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Anonymous · 16 April 2022, 18:00

Overdraft blues

Today, I got a text from my bank saying that my chequing account is below the threshold amount, and that they will have to charge me if I don’t deposit money soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833 You deserved it 220

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Anonymous · 8 August 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Reality check

Today, I posted a video about why men should never date a woman who has a bad relationship with her father. The first comment was from my ex saying, “Errm didn’t both your parents dump your ass in foster care?” It got more than a thousand likes before I turned off comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 You deserved it 727

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Anonymous · 20 February 2021, 00:30 ·Germany

You tried!

Today, my mom, not gifted for household chores, proudly announced that she cleaned the toilet. As it turns out, what she'd primarily cleaned was the deodorizer inside the toilet. Then she tried for the stains inside the bowl, unsuccessfully, then she gave up. But yeah, great job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759 You deserved it 104

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Iohn michael · 1 January 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Private life

Today, a girl I rejected, who is also a good friend, wrote on Facebook, “I’m never letting a guy get close to me again!” when I finally posted my new girlfriend. I avoided posting her before to avoid hurting her feelings because I knew she was still pining for me. Now I feel like an asshole and I lost a good friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 241

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Anonymous · 9 August 2026, 20:00 ·Riverside, United States

The biohazard downstairs

Today, I’ve lived in my apartment for more than five years and never had more than the occasional housefly. Three months after I got new downstairs neighbors I’ve been hit with a massive roach infestation, and they decided to bring their lovely ant friends with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382 You deserved it 60

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Nunya · 3 January 2025, 15:00 ·Sydney, Australia

Just my luck

Today, after walking on the beach for an hour with a friend, I noticed I'd lost my car keys. Thirty minutes from my friend's house, three hours from mine. It was getting dark & the tide was rising. We retraced our steps with no luck; the keys could’ve been washed away. I'd also locked my keys in the car earlier this week an hour from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207 You deserved it 510

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