The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 17:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, I got a call at work. My cat somehow managed to lock my boyfriend and dog out of the house. The rental manager charged us $25 to open the door. The cat seems quite pleased with herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 205

What am I doing here?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 04:00

Today, I had to write an essay for school explaining what motivates me to study. The more I tried to write it, the more I realized I've been wasting my time going back to school, and I never really wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 194

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, after nearly 4 years together, my girlfriend told me that not only does she not love me anymore, she was lying about wanting to work things out because it would be "too hard" for her to go back to financing her own life. I'm nothing more than an extra wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 91

The idiot

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 10:00

Today, you know those videos where catering staff accidentally drop the wedding cake in front of the bride, groom, and guests. Well I’m now that idiot. I’m also now in a cast on crutches because the bride kicked me in the leg with her heels so hard she snapped a bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 239

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 23/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 25/04/2013 19:37 - United States - Norcross

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 665

You deserved it 2 917

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sunroof because one of my coworkers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sunroof. To laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 426

You deserved it 42 476

Nightmare

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have the perfect life. The best husband, two well behaved kids, a well paying job, and a happy home. But I just pick random fights with my husband, instigating him into shouting for no reason. I guess I want problems to be happy. My whole soul wants peace, except my stupid brain and hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 839

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 16:00 - United States - East Islip

Today, a relative showed me a picture of her phone. I also saw a picture of her husband, a friend, sleeping. He looked like he was dead to the world. I asked, jokingly, "Why is there a picture of a dead guy on your phone?" Turns out it was her father, who is in the hospital, and dying any day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 838

When Harry didn't meet Sally

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 04:00

Today, after I was with my ex for five years before we split up because she didn’t want to marry, have children, or seemingly grow up at all, now a year later she has married some dude and is two months into their first planned pregnancy. I guess she just didn’t want to marry or have kids with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 197

Hang in there, man

By FuhhTynderMaye - 04/03/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out I got HIV. I’ve used condoms with all my Tinder hookups and never shared needles or anything with anyone. I was supposed to have a Tinder date tonight. Guess I’ll just be single forever then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 336

Is it worth all that?

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 18:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I might need to get my gallbladder removed, due to the rapid weight loss I've had since having a gastric balloon put in. This is on top of all the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramping so bad it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. I'm only 2 months in, with another 2 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 210

Punctured

By Anonymous - 21/09/2023 16:00

Spicy

Today, thanks to my son leaving his sharpened colouring pencils all over the sofa before I sat down, I had to go to hospital with a deep hole poked in my left testicle. I always suspected he didn’t want younger siblings but this is going too far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 142

Hangry

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 712

We all grieve in our own ways

By clearkim - 08/04/2021 17:00

Today, it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. My stepmom decided that since I’m not unusually sad or crying, it must mean I didn’t care that my own mom is dead, and am therefore a psychopath. Anniversaries mean nothing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 110

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 158

By AlmostScdOtOf68Bucks - 07/04/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, I got accepted to the North America Scholar Consortium as a Member of the Highest Honor, which I had applied for a few weeks ago. Happy to be able to add something good to my resume, I called my mom excitedly, and then Googled it to ascertain the level of prestige. Turns out it's a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 366

You deserved it 28 543

Supersonic323 tells us more.

Supersonic323 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 3:26

OK, I'm the OP, let me explain why I fell for it: -I had very recently received invitations to join two legit honor societies (one I was just inducted to tonight at a formal ceremony at my school, the other has regular meetings and community service projects) -Believe it or not, I do actually have a 4.0 GPA as a junior and miscellaneous other qualifications, so being "accepted" to this honor society didn't seem to be a stretch or anything -As I'm ridiculously busy right now, I didn't Google it first or even look too deeply at their website, I just quickly completed the "application" (you go on their website, apply, and then wait to hear from them) which was free Once I actually got the "acceptance" I called my mom and told her about it. I got off the phone with her and Googled it to get more info about it (I'd never heard of it) and discovered it was a scam. I'm glad I did so because their "initiation fee" was 68 bucks, and I hadn't given them credit card info or anything yet. Obviously I felt stupid; I called my mom back a second later and told her. I'm just glad I didn't COMPLETELY fall for it... lol. I should have taken more time at the start, but #22 is right; I'm just lucky I didn't lose 68. I lost 10 minutes of time and a chunk of my pride. :P I was also pretty pissed/disappointed, but it's OK; I'm in two ACTUAL honor societies, so whatever... I don't need a fake one. ;)

I did what now?

By Lost what I never knew I had - 16/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 90

Childlike

By Anonymous - 13/04/2021 05:01

Today, I told my brother a story about something I did a couple weeks ago. When I'd finished, he laughed and asked, "What grade were you in when you did that?" I'm 45 years-old and I haven't been in any "grade" since I was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 281

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 73

Classic

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had a dream I saw my dad. I tried to talk to him, but then I woke up. He died last Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 83

Chill out, dudebro

By Anonymous - 17/04/2021 20:00

Today, my hair is so long hair that it touches my shoulders now. My father attempted to bribe me into cutting my hair several times. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 268

Let me in

By Beatrice00101 - 22/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my apartment, and in a panic, I tried using a credit card to open the door like I'd seen in movies and stuff. Instead of opening the door, I broke my card in half. I then had to call my landlord, who showed up an hour later and said, "Wow, you really tried to break into your own house, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 414

Tight knit family

By Nic - 24/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out my oldest brother is getting married in two weeks. I heard about it through one of my two sisters, who pretty much helped end his last marriage, and who he hasn’t spoken to in 3 years. She wanted to complain about the invite taking so long. I still haven’t been invited, and I thought we were on good terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 77

Eavesdropping ain't a good idea

By Sorry we can't all be 5'10", Katie - 27/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend's future sister-in-law ask him not to bring me to the wedding. Apparently, me being so much shorter than everyone else is "embarrassing" and "would make the pictures look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 83

So selfish…

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 00:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 83

Worst teeth in the game

By Anonymous - 02/04/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I bit into a burrito and felt something hard crunch. I spit it out and found a small tooth. It was mine. I'd managed to break my tooth on a burrito. I had to go to the dentist, and the hygienist giggled a bit too much about the reason why it was getting fixed. I now have a strong suspicion of burritos which will probably never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 84

I hate hiking now

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 441

Crushed

By Anonymous - 16/10/2023 00:02

Today, I realized I have a crush on one of my co-workers. I’m married. I would never ever act on it but it’s really scaring me that I have these feelings and can’t make them go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 210

Da ba dee da ba di

By Embarassed - 07/04/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was in a meeting when my phone suddenly rang. I'd forgotten to silence it, but it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65. It played for 30 seconds while everyone stared at me rushing to retrieve it from my bag on the other side of the room and turn it off. The worst part? That fucking song is still stuck in my head, and it's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 448

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clumsy Pizza Delivery Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Poopoo peepee Love Divorce Frustration Intimacy NSFW Sex Growing old My ex Pregnancy Relatable Food Money Work Fire Customers Kids Annoying Family Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers

The Top

The Top

Today, after a DNA test and getting his sperm count checked, my husband still doesn't believe our son is his. He was kicked in the nuts several times as a child, something he believes has rendered him infertile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 782

You deserved it 1 816

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 594

You deserved it 20 778

Today, I got health insurance for the first time in six years! I'm paying a ton of money each month for a plan that hardly covers anything. I will still go bankrupt me if anything bad actually happens, but I can't afford monthly premiums on anything better. Thank you, USA healthcare system. Single payer, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 215

Today, a blind guy asked me out, but since I'm already in a relationship I politely declined, saying, "Sorry, I'm already seeing someone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 261

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 87

Today, same as every morning recently, a neighbour's tabby cat showed up on my balcony. We've developed a routine where I say hello and he sits nearby for a few minutes. During the day, I learned it belongs to the woman I've been awkwardly avoiding in the elevator for two years. The cat likes me more than its owner does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 101