The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Are you my new mommy?

By Anonymous - 10/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of six years has a five year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 80

Cats are cool dudes

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, someone (probably my ex) released a bunch of cats into my house. I’m pants-shittingly, deathly afraid of cats. Animal control can’t guarantee that they caught them all because they have no way of knowing how many were in there in the first place. I’m too terrified to be at home now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 134

Sweet

By f_ck_U - 03/09/2026 20:00 - China - Shanghai

Today, I returned to my sweet home after a two-month cozy vacation full of good memories, only to find that the place was sweet no more and had turned into a bug and mold-infested Petri dish uninhabitable for any living creature. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 150

Social interaction

By Anna - 05/09/2026 15:00 - United States - Cornelius

Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 99

I can explain

By SLEEPLESS - 07/09/2026 09:00 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I have my bedroom window covered in tinfoil, since there is an insanely bright streetlight right outside my window and nothing else works to block it so when I brought a girl back to my place and she opened the blinds, she saw the tinfoil and stared in horror. I tried to explain but she just stared and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 77

Green thumb

By not helping - 09/09/2026 03:00 - South Africa

Today, after I agreed to water my friend's plants while she was on vacation, she'd given me very specific instructions for each one, so I made a schedule and followed it carefully. When she came home, she stared at the plants and asked why her cactus was sitting in a bowl of water. I'd read the wrong line on the schedule all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 338

A tad harsh

By Fat blob - 10/09/2026 22:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, an aunt asked me why I'm single. I laughed and said, "I know my value, and I have high standards. Men can't handle that." My cousin burst into laughter and said, "What value? You're 36 and 300 pounds. Your value is zero!" I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 535

Stinky

By Barney - 19/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, while in a bathroom stall at work, I pulled out my phone to play Candy Crush. Somehow, I hit the volume button, and my phone blasted a YouTube ad for men’s body spray. The whole room went silent. Then I heard someone say, “You need it, son.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 410

Small talk

By Rob - 24/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 623

You OK, bro?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 09:00

Today, at the gym I loaded way too much weight on the bench press. Halfway through my set, I got stuck with the bar on my chest, squealing like a squeezed rubber duck until a stranger rescued me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 487

Trapped

By Embarassed - 01/10/2025 22:00

Today, I wished my best friend a happy birthday with a long, heartfelt post on social media. Turns out her birthday is next week, she'd just set a trap by changing the date on her profile. I was so confident that I even added, “Finally remembered this year!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 367

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 142

Not so smooth criminal

By Ughhhhhh - 14/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 64

Obsession

By Perfectionist - 20/10/2025 12:00

Today, it's been a week since I was supposed to be moved. I've had to work over because of network, data issues, and now a computation that's slightly off. The computation is optional, and there's no one at the federal office to even accept the report, but my stupid brain won't let me stop until it's fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 256

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 121

Take the help you can get

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 03:00

Today, I realized that no matter what kind of mental break, even just needing someone to vent to about night terrors and fears, my husband and mom will threaten to call a 72h psych hold on me if I so much as cry or be emotional at all. Then they'll forget me for two weeks and say "it's not a big deal." It makes someone want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 115

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 09:00

Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 190

Stolen valor!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 03:00

Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 411

Sorry Mom

By daniel - 24/11/2025 22:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a dick pic. I should have realized that "Morgan" is right next to "Mom" in my contacts list. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 474

Push on through the shame

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 00:00

Today, my neighbor caught me practicing a “power pose” pep talk in my car before work. I froze mid-pose while he stared in confused silence. He gave me a thumbs-up, slowly backed away, and I drove off immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 308

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 125

Remote

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 00:00

Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 71

The DIY trap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to save money by fixing a leaky sink myself. Fifteen minutes and three tools later, I had flooded under-sink cabinets and a new appreciation for plumbers. My landlord arrived with a wrench and a look that said ‘you’ll learn.’ I learned to call professionals first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 401

Work is a four-letter word

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 22:00

Today, I am so paranoid from being bullied at work, I need time off. But because of the bullying, I am too paranoid to take leave. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 153

I'm fine, I swear

By Duped - 06/01/2026 15:00

Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 357

Nice try

By Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 545

Hot wheels

By Anne - 26/01/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a café that claimed to be fully accessible, as I use a mobility aid. The ramp was technically there but so steep, I needed help. Three strangers helped push me up while I apologized, laughed nervously, and tipped coffee onto myself at the top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 84

Dream house

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife wanted more space, so we moved to a new house. I signed a more expensive one-year lease and went through a huge move. Everything would’ve been fine if she hadn’t broken up with me one month later. Now I’m trying to renegotiate the lease and sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 75

Hard work

By Maths - 02/02/2026 03:00

Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 367

Chilly

By Bloody tp - 03/02/2026 22:00

Today, I had to spend five days at work, as we were expecting a snow storm and my position must be staffed at all times. My boss stocked the fridges with food, which sounds nice, but it was all frozen dinners and junk food. I've had so much diarrhea that my asshole is chapped and bleeds when I wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 233

You deserved it 4 218

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 209

You deserved it 274 633

Random

Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 924

You deserved it 1 469

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 215

You deserved it 7 327

Today, I was stopped by a customer who told me that I looked like a nice woman. I thanked him for the compliment and pointed out that I was a man. With an obviously male name on my name tag. And visible facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 174

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 2 803

Today, my daughter used my towel. She thought that because it was clean, it would be okay. She’s 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 789

Today, a screenshot of an old tweet of mine went viral. Unfortunately, it was completely taken out of context, thinking it was saying the opposite of what I actually meant, and now I’m trending on both “Libs of TikTok” and “Woke Watch” or whatever the fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 370