The Top

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Wake up Boo!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 20:01

Today, my work made us all get up at 3 a.m. to head to the airport for our 7 a.m. flight, only for us to get to the airport and find out the flight is cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 96

Morning conversation

By Anonymous - 15/03/2021 08:01

Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 203

Slowly walking down the hall

By Rayray - 17/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 317

By desperatewife - 01/01/2016 01:47 - France

Today, it’s official, 2016 was the most catastrophic year for me, sexually, having had sex a total of zero times. It wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t been married for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 102

Time to shine

By lukey101 - 07/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was flattered to receive a hand-addressed letter for the first time in years. I tore it open to discover it was actually addressed to my dog. It was a vaccination reminder from his vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 146

Ninja!

By Today I closed every door on every floor of my building - 23/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Hampstead

Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 96

Too much irony

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 11:00

Today, I tried to schedule a counseling appointment so I could vent about the lack of quality control in software. The online scheduler said to call. The secretary scheduled my appointment then said the system would send an email with the appointment link. The email did not contain any links. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 118

Dramatic Entrance Fail

By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28

It's not easy being cheesy...

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 210

Catcaller on a bike!

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 05:01 - India - Hosur

Today, a man on a bike was so preoccupied with making lewd comments about another girl's behind that he drove straight into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 110

The hangover from hell

By jeannie - 20/09/2023 14:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 935

Kill it with fire

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 06:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 231

That's the spirit

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, it's been 8 months since I was downsized and have been having a hard time finding work, despite a good work history and education. Today, I found out that my car needs a new transmission ($4k - $6k). Sometimes, things stink and you just have to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 73

Hazy day

By Laurence - 18/03/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my alarm went off, and in my half-asleep state, I grabbed my phone and snoozed it. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd actually snoozed my work email notification for the same amount of time, and my boss was emailing me every five minutes, asking where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 434

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 22:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 144

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 00:02 - Canada - Laval

Today, I wore a new pair of shoes to work only to find out they make a clackety-clack noise with every step on the tiles in the company's corridors. My coworkers are now convinced I'm secretly training for a tap dance competition in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 148

It's about control

By i hate it here - 03/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after three years of letting everyone work remotely and do our thing, my company suddenly demanded everyone return to the office. Now I get sit in traffic for two hours every day just to join Zoom calls from a cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 114

But… I'm hungry!

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 519

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 515

Long long long

By Anonymous - 21/10/2023 14:00

Today, I had to turn down a job offer that would have been perfect for me because post-Covid fatigue syndrome is kicking my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 264

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 102

Moral high horse

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 20:00 - Germany

Today, my sister was quite obviously looking down on me for not knowing the trendy sustainable hair soap in little net baggies that “everyone” uses now. Years ago, when I was already using regular hair soap instead of shampoo, she looked down on me for being a "greenie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 103

Nutshot

By Blue Nut Records - 31/10/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Delémont

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 94

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 129

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to my boss complaining about how lazy one of my coworkers is and how I’m always having to pick up the slack. I realized too late that I'd Cc'd the coworker I was talking about. His reply was basically, “You’re welcome for doing my job while you waste your time complaining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 530

Tree Fall Fail

By FML Approved - 13/10/2017 03:00

If a tree falls in a parking lot and nobody flinches, did it really fall at all?

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 106

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 151

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Owie - 09/11/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 121

Tense

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, you might know that anxiety before an extremely important exam: sweating, shaking, heart palpitations, tension headache… That’s how I felt this morning when I got into my car… to pick up a free mattress I scored on the internet. Guess my adrenal glands were bored and decided to have a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 121

Business is business

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 276

What a ride

By Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 248

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The Top

Today, my dad came over and ordered me, a 43 year-old woman, to purchase a kitchen table. He and my sisters are embarassed that we are still using a plastic folding table. It doesn't matter to them that we have just spent over $30,000 on renovations. His cousins are coming from Italy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 221

You deserved it 3 038

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 004

You deserved it 3 942

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 381

You deserved it 2 802

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 128

You deserved it 47 103

Today, my husband's number was mistakenly added to a group chat of my co-workers dealing with COVID-19. Despite my asking him to stop, he keeps sending corny memes that has offended most of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 473

You deserved it 340

Today, I decided to use a newer purse because my old one was ripped. When I got off the bus, the automatic back doors closed on me before I could get fully out, and my new purse got ripped too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 114