The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

anonymous dude · 7 March 2025, 15:00 ·Australia

Social cues

Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134 You deserved it 438

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Anonymous · 15 October 2026, 09:00 ·Portland, United States

No car for you

Today, my wife had to pay double on a rental car than the one I had reserved because of a "credit issue" nobody was able to give me details on. I couldn't get the car because my card wouldn't insert or swipe properly. I spent an hour trying to get to the bottom of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 21 October 2026, 20:00 ·Marietta, United States

I told you so

Today, I learned that my decades long health issue is… ME/CFS. Am I shocked? Nope, been trying to convince the doctors that this wasn’t mental health related for decades. I also found out I’ve been living with low blood flow and oxygen to the brain due to this hell. My family still doesn’t believe any of this is real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 You deserved it 43

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Anonymous · 17 March 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Corner cutting

Today, I got some lumber delivered to site and that shit was so bent and warped I could've cut it into foot long pieces and sold them as boomerangs. My boss is breathing down my neck about finishing on time to a high standard of work, yet he keeps buying subpar materials on the cheap. Tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517 You deserved it 55

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Anonymous · 19 March 2025, 09:00 ·Enfield, United States

Take it easy

Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 454 You deserved it 99

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Anonymous · 26 October 2026, 20:00 ·United States

No problem, my pleasure!

Today, I introduced my mom to my friend who performed the Heimlich maneuver on me when I was choking. She proceeded to loudly berate and chew him out, saying that he should have gotten an adult and could have hurt me. Now he won't talk to me and I'm grounded for calling her a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 69

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Anonymous · 31 October 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Should I stay or should I go?

Today, the police picked me up and made me go home to my mother, who regretted kicking me out for being gay, even though I wanted nothing more to do with her. It gets better though: She used to be my biggest supporter, then starting dating a homophobe who turned her against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · 27 March 2025, 22:00 ·Bristol, United Kingdom

Hero complex

Today, I was walking through a Tesco's car park when I saw a shopping trolley slowly rolling towards me. I figured I’d be a hero and stop it before it hit a car. As I grabbed it, I slipped on a patch of ice and crashed straight into the cart, sending right it into the car I was trying to protect, denting the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 101

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P Rogers Nelson · 12 October 2023, 16:00 ·United States

The guest formerly known as…

Today, I went to a costume party dressed as Prince. As I walked into the party, I realized that I was the only one who hadn't received the memo that the costume part of the party had been cancelled. I spent the evening awkwardly mingling with a group of confused strangers while dressed in purple satin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · 5 April 2025, 00:00 ·Kenner, United States

Loyalty

Today, after I finally got up the courage to talk to the girl I'd been crushing on for years, we've got super close over a few weeks. Her best friend, who I'm kinda friends with, texted me, confessing that she likes me. Now the first girl won't talk to me for the sake of her best friend, who I'm not interested in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467 You deserved it 92

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FML Approved · 7 September 2017, 03:30

Fishing Break Brake Fail!

Easy living isn't always easy...

I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 190

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Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 03:00 ·Buchholz in der Nordheide, Germany

False advertising

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 84

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FML Approved · 3 October 2017, 03:00 ·New York, United States

Sledding Fail

Mistakes were made...

I agree, your life sucks 356 You deserved it 292

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Anonymous · 2 May 2025, 03:00 ·Singapore, Singapore

Brave

Today, I found out that my ex slept with someone during a work trip and came back to break up with me. He spent the whole breakup making me think that the problem in the relationship was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584 You deserved it 84

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Newny_Newny_Newny · 4 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Ticket to ride

Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527 You deserved it 87

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bad sleeper · 19 May 2021, 17:00 ·United States

Thrashing

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never wants to sleepover anymore. He said he loves me, but that sleeping next to me is like sleeping next to someone reenacting the crucifixion while being mauled to death by squirrels. So much for cuddling through the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915 You deserved it 228

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Anonymous · 11 November 2023, 14:00 ·Perth, Australia

Procrastination

Today, I prepared a detailed plan to organise my life, colour-coded and beautifully illustrated. I was so engrossed in designing the perfect plan that I forgot to actually do any of it and ended up with a highly organised non-starter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160 You deserved it 453

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Anonymous · 20 November 2023, 06:00

Growing old gracefully

Today, my youngest sister was Snapchatting a new guy and sent him a selfie with me in it. He responded, “Is that your mom?” I’m 26.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512 You deserved it 125

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Lex · 22 May 2025, 03:00 ·Edison, United States

Never again

Today, I gave my kid some Pop Rocks. He shoveled a handful in his mouth, then screamed when they started popping and spat them all over the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 459

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Anonymous · 23 November 2023, 12:00 ·United States

Hyperfocused

Today, I set out to organize my media files over several old hard drives, but I got so engrossed in creating intricate folders and subfolders that I forgot what I was organizing in the first place. My computer is now a labyrinth of folders titled "Stuff," "Things," and "What is this even?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 564

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Rordon Gamsey · 2 August 2022, 16:00

Kitchen daydream

Today, I was "that idiot" who spent ages making a soup stock from meat and vegetables, but then while separating it forgot to put a pan under the strainer, so I poured the finished stock down the sink, leaving me with only the boiled meat and veg sat sadly in the strainer. Takeaway chinese for tea, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802 You deserved it 435

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Anonymous · 29 May 2025, 09:00 ·Gothenburg, Sweden

Strange system

Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML

I agree, your life sucks 361 You deserved it 140

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Bob the builder · 29 November 2023, 22:00 ·Luton, United Kingdom

Doggy heaven

Today, I attempted to fix a leaky tap in my bathroom. Instead, I somehow managed to trigger a water feature reminiscent of one of those Disney park rides, turning my bathroom into a splash zone for my two dogs while I frantically tried to shut it all off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 262

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Tour guide for a day · 2 December 2023, 04:00 ·Montreal, Canada

Stank face

Today, I attended a virtual meeting. When I went to grab a coffee during a break, for some reason took my laptop with me, got distracted by my cat taking a stinky dump, so my coworkers got an unplanned tour of his litter box while I scooped it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 You deserved it 612

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hatenicknames · 9 August 2022, 04:00

CARS!

Today, I was moving in with a housemate who was fixing his car outside. First, my dad was helping me move, but got distracted by the car, then my boyfriend came to help and also got distracted by the car. I've been moving everything by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987 You deserved it 168

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Fred666 · 2 December 2023, 16:00 ·Canada

AirPlop

Today, I sneezed while wearing wireless earbuds. The force of the sneeze catapulted one earbud across the room, where it landed perfectly in a cup of coffee. My coffee now plays podcasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416 You deserved it 140

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rejected · 3 June 2025, 12:00 ·United States

The absolute betrayal

Today, my ex is sleeping in the basement for a few days until he can find a new place. All three of my cats would rather snuggle with him on the couch, even though two of them hate each other. None want to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388 You deserved it 188

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Anonymous · 10 December 2023, 09:00 ·Birmingham, United States

Cool new look

Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 151

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Anonymous · 19 June 2021, 11:01 ·Israel

Murphy's Law

Today, I had a night shift as a front desk clerk in a nice hotel. Even with 2 years experience, I truly wasn't ready for what was about to happen. From a burned hand by boiling water to unpaid rooms via a guest identification scandal at 3 a.m., everything that could go wrong did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877 You deserved it 97

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Anonymous · 23 December 2023, 15:00 ·Buderim, Australia

Food for thought

Today, after many years of being one of the best workers anywhere I worked, and being superhuman, I now have to accept that I may never be able to work full time again. Why? Because apparently I haven't been properly digesting food since I was 16 and I'm now 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452 You deserved it 146

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