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Frenemies 2

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 17:59

Today, my old frenemy told me she married my college boyfriend who made a fortune during the early days of Bitcoin. They have no kids, a massive house, retired when they were 45, and are moving to their retirement villa in Hawaii. I'm divorced and on benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 235

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 22:30

Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 201

Self rated

By Anonymous - 09/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I realized my success rates for sex in my committed relationship were really, really low, so I've decided to stop trying for a while. I also recently have learned Excel. I made a pretty complex tracker if I ever decide to try again to monitor failures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 206

Himbo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 401

Don't go

By Kyle - 18/01/2024 20:00 - United States - Universal City

Today, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The catch? I'm on my step-dad's insurance and without it, I will no longer be able to receive my absolutely crucial mental health medication, on which, no exaggeration, my life depends upon. I'm cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 119

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was dealing with my nightmares quite efficiently by drinking right before I go to sleep, presto, no nightmares and no problems when I woke up. My girlfriend decided to make a whole issue of it by telling my parents, who planned an intervention and want me to waste time seeing a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 628

Phasing out

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 15:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I just started working in my core job domain, and all the guys working with me are giving up on their their jobs, because there's no future for it. It sucks being a mechanical design engineer in a country full of IT companies who just want us to convert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 147

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 249

Rage against the machine

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I've been working towards a management position at my IT job for 9 years. My boss quit, so I thought, "This is my chance!" Nope, our department got outsourced and now I'm interviewing for my own job on Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 67

Daycare is open

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Logan

Today, I woke up with viral pink eye in both eyes. I work at a daycare and half the staff got it. We live in a state where there's mandatory sick time for all employees but people still take their sick kids to daycare. It's been a month of pink eye in my facility and I feel like it's never going to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 103

Watch your step

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding and leaned over to whisper to my friend, “Wow, this is the cheapest-looking cake I’ve ever seen.” The bride was right behind me holding the cake knife. She heard every word. Luckily, she didn't stab me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 836

Freak out

By Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 860

Are you OK my dude?

By Hell naw - 13/08/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I got into my car in the parking lot, or at least I thought I did. I sat down, buckled up, and only noticed something was off when a guy walked over from the shopping trolley carousel, opened the passenger door and said, “Can I help you?” Same car model, wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 138

Spooky season

By fishyrael - 13/10/2022 06:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, I took a nap before work. I had a harrowing nightmare in which I was chased by a murderer and the ghosts of his victims at my job. I then woke up to go to work, where I work the night shift, completely alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 131

Work it

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 457

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 188

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 73

Chicken is seafood?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my family asked me to get dinner, as they'd heard a popular seafood chain had chicken baskets for $4 each. I had $15 on me. When I got there, the restaurant staff laughed in my face and insisted they had never, ever had $4 chicken baskets. The alternative? $14 for ONE chicken dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 192

Bustin' makes me feel good

By Billie - 03/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 214

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 135

Skidmarks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 00:00

Today, while drinking with my siblings, my brother said out loud at the pub: “I have to go…wipe better”, then he fucked off and didn’t come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 133

Cooked

By Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 100

The Crazy World of Arthur Brown

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, our new chef managed to start a grease fire. We couldn’t put it out because he managed to splash the flaming grease onto the fire extinguisher. Yes, we couldn’t put out a fire because our fire extinguisher was on fire. The fire department guys just laughed and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 114

Slacking or what?

By BarneyR - 09/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to log into my email at work. Frustrated, I reset my password. As soon as I finished, IT called to remind me that the reason I couldn’t log in was because I was typing my Netflix password the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 393

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 16:00

Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 898

The more you know

By SHUT UPPPPP - 14/09/2025 00:00

Today, my man learned that "boner" used to mean "mistake." Now he won't stop referring to every mistake someone makes as a "boner", laughing like a hyena every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 101

Time for an episode of Intervention

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, my brother won't fucking stop playing Minecraft whilst on the phone, when we're chatting. All I hear is him playing Minecraft. Every time. He's in university, I'm not even there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 154

You're in the army now

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 12:00

Today, my officer took us on a night navigation exercise. Naturally, I and my fellow soldiers followed him. After many wrong turns, we climbed over barbed wire into a cow field. Our illustrious leader was startled by a cow, then became intimately entangled in the wire. As medic it was my duty to apply bandages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 103

Meaningful

By Just a guy - 21/03/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Delfzijl

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 106

Disreputable

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to train a new hire, grateful to finally have someone else here with me on my shift. He didn't show up. I found out later that his mother didn't want him working here because she thinks he's too smart for this job. I found him working at the McDonald's a few blocks away. We pay more than they do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 975

Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 390

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I had a blind date. When I went to meet him, he shouted to my friend, “What the fuck dude? You didn’t tell me I’d be on a date with Miss Piggy! Fuck this shit!” and then stormed off. I haven’t had a date in 6 years and I bought the best outfit and got my hair done to make an impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 924

You deserved it 211

Today, I taught my daughter to tell a teacher if she was being bullied. My husband however taught her teachers are useless, and if you punch bullies in the balls really hard, they will bend forwards which puts them in a good position for an uppercut that will knock out teeth. The school is furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 208

Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 458