The Top

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JBP fever dream

By Mike0410 - 24/06/2024 16:00 - Romania - Alba Iulia

Today, I went for a picnic by the river in the forest with my grandma. I forgot to bring a swimsuit, and wasn't wearing any underwear either, so she just made me go naked. I got caught fully naked by some dirt bikers when I went to find a spot to pee. My grandma just laughed, really hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 360

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 635

Always lockcheck

By Embarassed and single - 29/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was doing a striptease for my crush on FaceTime. I’d forgotten to lock my bedroom door and my mom came barging in, yelling at me to, “Stop leaving your period blood on the toilet seat!” She also saw that I was in my bra and panties, and left in disgust. My crush hung up and he won’t return my calls or texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 862

Insomnia tip

By pull my finger - 30/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Asheville

Today, as I sometimes do, I laid in bed at night rating my farts as I couldn't sleep. I'm a 53 year-old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 255

Help!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 19:58

Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 142

Cannonball

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 00:00

Today, after her very first driving lesson, my daughter came home claiming she did really well. Which is suspicious since her instructor was at that moment on the phone with me yelling, saying I must be crazy if I think she’s ever getting in his car again, and that I should explain to her what a bus pass is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 113

Point made

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 00:00

Today, to prove to my wife that she's incapable of leaving on time, I told her we needed to leave by 6 and gave her no further reminders. At 6:45 she “still need 5 more minutes.” Then she got mad when she came downstairs at 7:20 and I was in my pyjamas, because what's the fucking point leaving now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 82

By matou - 09/07/2015 20:41 - France - Caluire

Today, I was late for work, so I grabbed my handbag, my sports bag and ran out. The bus arrived at the stop just as I did, so I hopped on and sat down, trying to catch my breath. I dumped my bags onto my knees and looked down to see my cat, staring back at me from inside my sports bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 3 707

Smooth criminal

By jack1057 - 12/09/2020 10:01 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 192

Not today, Satan, not today!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2021 02:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after trying really hard to impress a girl and thinking everything was going the right way, hugs, kisses and chatting every night, and trying to spend as much time together, I get told, "I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want." Meaning me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 149

You deserved it 169

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 653

Been there, done that

By forever alone - 24/02/2023 16:00

Today, I came to the unhappy realization that I’m living such a cliche. I’m completely in love with a totally unavailable man. He’s funny, smart, and drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way I could ever tell him how I truly feel. He’s gay and I’m a woman. We’ll never be more than friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 355

You should be dancing, yeah?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a man joined our dance group who is at least 10 stone overweight with a belly hanging over his belt. When I tell you he is leaps and bounds a much better dancer than me, I'm underselling how good he is. I fully admit I’m jealous, but he makes all my efforts seem laughable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 454

Busted

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 09:00

Today, my door broke. My normally reclusive, antisocial cat, who runs and hides at the slightest noise, decided to come out and get friendly with the maintenance man. Now I owe a huge fee and my rent is increasing for having a pet I’m not supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 664

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 487

You deserved it 70 782

Bye Bye

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - South Shields

Today, it was my two-week anniversary of starting my new job, after over a year of unemployment due to Covid. It was great, I was getting on with people, and it actually felt like a career where my skillset was valued and I was appreciated by the management. I showed up to work this morning to find it had burned down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 127

Great party

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 20:00

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 815

Jacked

By Gertland - 26/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I went to the gym and approached a machine I had never used before. After a few minutes of awkward attempts, an instructor came over and politely informed me I was using it completely wrong. The worst part? It was the stretching machine, and I thought it was for abs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 263

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 15:00

Today, someone said not to speak to them like I'm "better than them." I asked how they would like me to speak; I couldn't figure out the problem. The response I got was, "Speak to me like you speak to your lord." Am I the idiot? I wasn't even the one who initiated the conversation to begin with, nor did I intend for beef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 70

Toxic

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife is now so into her toxic feminist rubbish that she tried to convince me our son uses weaponised incompetence against her. Um, he’s 4, there’s nothing weaponised about his incompetence, he just doesn’t know how to do a lot of things properly, because he’s 4 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 91

Thanks, weather!

By Armin - 22/12/2021 14:00

Today, I bought a brand new TV that cost a pretty penny. I took it home and it had a defect. After a lot of arguing, I was able to exchange the TV for another one. I got it home and it worked amazing. Later on, we had a bad rainstorm, which flooded my room and screwed up not only my new TV, but my PS5, Xbox, and laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 176

Geneology

By Anonymous Joe - 28/02/2026 03:00

Today, I learned that my father, who died when I was a child, was not in fact my father. This comes as my mom, who has been present and loving my whole life, passed away without providing any additional information. I'm a grown man and my family also had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 51

F*** Grandma, eh kids?

By Sorry mommy - 13/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Corona

Today, I was so distraught during my mother’s funeral that I hadn’t been paying attention to anything around me. At some point, my kids changed my ringtone to “Ding dong the witch is dead” and turned my phone to full volume. They called while I was doing her eulogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 118

It's a Christmas… Anticlimax

By Lexie - 26/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I got dressed up in my best attire and drove an hour to my family Christmas, only to find out it was canceled, and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 102

Desperate

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 12:00

Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 80

Miserable parenting style

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mom was going to take me shopping to buy a gift for my dad’s birthday, but unfortunately, I missed a spot while cleaning the kitchen. Now my mom is “embarrassed to be seen with me in public” and will buy my dad nothing, and tell him it’s because I don’t love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 68

ETA? No idea!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 02:00

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 424

On time

By GaryGaryOhGary - 21/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I set my alarm for 3:30 AM to catch an early flight. I got up, got dressed, and arrived at the airport in record time. While checking in, I was told that my flight is tomorrow morning. I’m now wide awake and sitting in a 24-hour diner, having a very early breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 459

Goddamn cat!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Monsey

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 205

Loose cannon

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 09:00

Today, I found out that my workplace still won't fire my coworker who is extremely rude to customers. Last week, he called a black woman the n-word right to her face. All he did was just get yelled at and told to get back to work. No matter how many complaints, they simply won't fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 70

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The Top

Today, upon my arrival at work, I was greeted by 2 police officers, 2 managers, my coworker, and a meth-head in my office. They quickly told me that the meth-head was wearing stolen merchandise under her clothes, then left me alone with her, saying I had to watch her undress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 785

Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 002

You deserved it 3 471

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 764

You deserved it 6 452

Today, my period was officially 2 weeks late. I have a phobia about giving birth, so I had a panic attack, went to Walmart, spend $15 on four pregnancy tests and a drink, came home, and took the tests. All four came back negative. As I went to clean up and throw everything away, I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 633

You deserved it 791

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 822

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 98