Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I went to a big job interview. As I walked in, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Other highlights include my voice cracking multiple times, sweating profusely and getting uncontrollable nervous giggling. The interviewer eventually stared at me in disbelief and asked if I was high. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had put a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML
Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML
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Top comments
MrBubblez98 13
Make sure to do this the next time your co-worker has to do a speech, then see how he feels about it
pickles1994 18
Well that's unprofessional of your boss to just assume your high and suspended you just like that, sorry to hear OP
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Comments (74)
emeraldisle 30
I hope you kicked your coworker's arse!
zingline89 18
You don't want to work there anyway. I say you roll out of that joint. Weed be better off having you work for the city instead of you blowing smoke for your worthless boss. Let's face it, he's not all he's cracked up to be.
xxb000xx 0
OMFG . (((((((((:
MrBubblez98 13
WOW EPIC FAIL TYPING!! Oh wait, I see what you did there...
BubbleGrunge 18
How did your boss not see them trying to **** with you, OP? Dick.
unknown_user5566 27
Sounds like his coworker was behind the boss. You're right though... The boss does sound like a dick.
unknown_user5566 27
Your boss sounds super uptight. If I laughed during a presentation, I'm sure my boss wouldn't be ecstatic, but he sure as hell wouldn't overreact like that.
ThatsANiceAss 4
He fired you because he thought you were high? That's stupid. Take a damn drug test or some shit.
DontClickOnMe 28
No, he didn't fire him. He just suspended him. However, I do agree it is stupid.
ICastillo 25
I know this has nothing to do with the FML, but it has to be said that is a nice pic #19 it's ass-tastic .
TrailblazerSS 5
I really hate it when people can't take things seriously. There's a time and place to joke around, but in you case during a presentation isn't the place.
JoeGrant 12
That does suck :/ but does anyone know what a "******* **** sock" is?
kittytub 12
some people use socks to ********** with and they ejaculate in them. so op is calling them a **** rag.
ICastillo 25
Your co-worker is a promotion blocking ass hole. You should kick him in the dick, that always fixes people's anger.
EmazingLight 9
Lol. Co-workers are real dicks sometimes aren't they .-.
ICastillo 25
Your co-worker is a promotion blocking jack ass. Next time he has a presentation upload a bunch of **** on his computer so when he turns his computer on it will play full blast. It will be funny, but very awkward at the same time.