Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I looked the wrong way and didn't see the car that hit me. FML
Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
fxdxhk90 0
So..... what are the police charging you with?
dcstream 0
This needs to be illustrated.
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Comments (204)
allmidnighteyes 11
Apparently, NJ breeds morons.
mike1921 0
I take offense to that. Because, while NJ is full of idiots, the OP is way beyond the typical idiot in NJ. This guy is to NJ's normal idiots what NJ's normal idiots are to Stephen hawking.
ciaobella_fml 0
Either I laughed at this for a minute because I haven't slept in 2 days or its really that stupid its funny. Hope she's ok.
i_is_a_tr00l 0
Who told you to put those jeans on? Hmmmmm?
Rouge_Plague 0
Well, someones insurance just got ******
x_BOOMbox 0
This is more **** her life. I mean, she's the one who got pushed by some guy she didn't know and then hit by a car.
shootingstar8D 0
Idiot.
Xerosnake90 0
This has to be complete bullshit. If not, hope you enjoy getting sued and getting sent to jail for attempted manslaughter.
CharlotteRx 4
so, did you get her number? hahahahaha!!!
TotalKhaos 0
Win!
plexico 4
The good news is that you will be getting to spend a lot of time with her. I'm sure she'll come every day to your attempted murder trial. She'll even get on the stand and look at you and say "He's the man." See, "you da man," won't it turn out great?
nick_beresho 0
How the hell did you manage to do that? You're an idiot. :)