Today, my 15 year-old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Today, my longtime partner had a mental breakdown and broke into my home. After forcefully having to get him out of my house and dealing with Police all morning, my 16-year-old daughter decided to tell me that she's pregnant. She thought one hour after a break in was the right time to tell me. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that she's pregnant and has spent the last 5 hours in the bathroom crying at “what her father is going to think”. She’s 32 years old for god's sake, in an adult relationship, and still thinks her father is going to be angry at her. FML
Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
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Top comments
davehorn 1
birth control dumbass!
knights95 9
Op should've taken some of his girlfriend birth control just to be extra safe.
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Comments (539)
rmcke93 0
don't worry, if you live in Australia the government pays you ;)
LilysTillie 7
Umm, but it clearly states he lives in the US!
imnotcraZ 0
you caused it dumbass
jessamy_brit 5
Run, Joey, run.
bballforward33 10
run and duck
LilSideTwerk 0
Uhm well... urhm.. no way of escaping that one!!
Parker1996 0
Wow. Control yourself!
giveitdub 0
You and your girlfriend are stupid.
ahabsfan 17
For all you know it's not even your kid. you could be off the hook if she's a ****.
Flarfignewton 4
well... its either time to go baby shopping or time to go gun shopping
krysxkatastrophe 14
Abortion is your best option here, OP.
kedwardsx33 3
If you thought you were ready for sex, you should have also been ready for a baby. It didn't occur to you at all during that time that MAYBE your gf could get pregnant? Or you could have atleast used some or better protection. And if you think her dad is so scary now, why didn't you care when you were banging his daughter.....