Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I was out having a beer with a few friends. After getting a pint, I slipped in a puddle of beer, fell on top of a stranger on the sofa, and knocked my beer upside down on my head. Then, completely soaked, I realized I'd also knocked over the table, spilling its content on a poor girl across it. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
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Top comments
AstroTurfMatador 11
"in a room alone with someone" Were you alone or with someone? It can't be both.
Amy78_fml 11
I see some behavior that would be a turn off.
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Comments (28)
tounces7 28
Well your name just sums it up already.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
you seem super annoying, sorry
julfunky 29
Because she farted and tried to climb a tree? Oh, how dreadful.
thehaystackerine 20
I rode my bicycle to the liquor store, and bought a bottle of scotch. I worried that if I fell off the bike, I would break the bottle. So I drank all of the scotch, threw the bottle away, and continued home. It turned out to be a wise decision, because I fell off the bike about seven times on the way home.
WereDictionary 3
The thin with your crush sucked but you cold hav avoided everything else. YDI kinda.
PhoenixChick 26
Take away the cracked tooth and beer bottle and that's what the rest of us called "life in junior high"
alycion 39
And that’s why you learn your limit before drinking around someone that you care about embarrassing yourself in front of.
Emma Marshall_738558922 12
Wait you're a girl?
WHSKitty4ever 23
The alias says it all.
fde2blknimout 18
Soooo I guess youre gonna claim rape?