Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML
Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML
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Top comments
buddy51 23
How about if you suggest that your BF take a hike? A long walk off a short pier perhaps? YDI if you stay with a guy who's both bad in bed AND an inconsiderate jerk-off!
DocBastard 40
Any person who makes any sexual demand without your agreement deserves no sex at all. Full stop.
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Comments (82)
gg27787 6
Maybe he realizes he's shit in bed and didn't want to admit it.
chuckcloninger 12
I see a long and happy relationship for you two?
xmaximusx 12
Everyone else is missing the point, Thats actually why he wants you on top, he knows he's terrible ! Have a laugh
Chumsword 8
See a need, fill a need I guess.
Delta2Almanac 7
Still a better love story than twilight.. .
zilla52 12
so your happy he called you fat
siddin 6
find a new boyfriend. ...
onorexveritas 24
good for you
whY402Jay 12
Maybe I could teach you a few things... then you could tell your man how to do it right next time.
amh32506 1
I would be ok with that too. I always and only ****** if I'm on top.