Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML
Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML
Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and asked if I'd seen her cat. I helped her search the hallway, basement, and garden for 30 minutes. We finally found it sitting inside my apartment, where I had apparently been living with it for three days without noticing. FML
Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML
Today, I stayed the night at a friend's house for the first time. I went to get water from the kitchen when I saw a cat staring at me. I looked back and it ran off. I told my friend about it. He doesn’t have a cat. FML
Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML
Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML
Today, I closed my bedroom door before I went to work this morning so my cat wouldn't chew on the cords in there. When I got back, I couldn't find my other cat anywhere. I went to my bedroom and heard her yelling. She was in there, stuck there all morning and afternoon. Oops. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
So some strange pet comes into your house and you nonchalantly kick it out. No confusion, no wondering where it came from, no looking for original owners, etc... Don't own pets.
xluciferx666 21
Guess the cats out of the bag now...or rather out of the house....I'll see myself out
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Comments (118)
tippytoes072515 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
its okay I feel you I forgot that I had my exes dog and put him out the door after he was licking my toes.....
AbtractAngela 17
wtf did the dog do to you? i would break up with you too, seeing as you're so heartless.
jvanevery 19
keep looking put some cat food outside the front door was the cat an inside outside cat at your sisters how far does your sister live from you it's possible the cat will go home if it's only a mile or two go talk to the neighbors at your sisters house ask them to keep an eye out for the cat. if you have some sort of webcam or internet cam set it up outside your front door and then pay attention
VeganDarkLight 31
This took me a while to read... good comment, but punctuation is your friend!
christopherwilli 14
How do you suppose a cat would have gotten into your house without you knowing?
trucker2 33
Damn mail slots..., lol or it pushed through a screen.
dadumtss 14
you would be surprised at how often this happens. cats are little money rats. and any small window or even through pipes or the roof they can get in.
trucker2 33
And she trusted you..... Better find her cat asap.
kotaro66 10
Some of my good and real FML never make it to publish but this BS does... Seriously?
RedPandax 23
It depends on who moderated your FML. A lot of people say no to cliche FMLs and if it doesn't have basic grammar. Tons of people submit FMLs a day. And most don't make it and I don't see any of them complaining.
RedPandax 23
I'd wake up thinking "what the ****." But I'd keep the cat. Anyway, Sorry OP, but it was really irresponsible of you to just kick it out and not give any more thought to it. Good luck, I hope you find the cat, for your sisters and the kittys sake. **** your sisters and her cats life.
chickypie1987 23
Yeah you've clearly never owned pets if you just let it outside without giving a sh*t
GrinchFu1 27
Look on the bright side... If your sister ever has kids, you'll never be asked to babysit!
TheInvisibleOne 31
I once woke up petting a cat I didn't have before, but I didn't throw it outside. Also, the cat turned out to be my Christmas present. :)
Mynamewontfi 40
How could you forcat that?
gracehi 33
I gave you a thumb up for trying.