Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I finally did the splits for the first time in my life! Unfortunately, it happened when I stepped in wet dog poop on my kitchen floor. One foot slipped forward in it, and I fell right on top of it. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, while trying to pick up dog poo, I tripped and landed in the pile. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
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Top comments
ScratchCatPower 32
"What... What do you need?" "... A tailor... BECAUSE I RIPPED MY PANTS AGAIN!"
ellisp1 15
What a dog-gone shame.
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Comments (42)
Rhianonin 11
Is wet dirt a new word for mud?
soullyfe 33
24: Maybe it was just dirt that was moist. It doesn't automatically make it mud unless the water overpowers the dirt.
special_Kaye 10
Well at least your dog was small enough you could pick him up. If that had been me, my eleven year old black lab would have been no help!!
1gullible_bugger 34
At least you have mud to fall into in Quebec. In Saskatchewan all we have is dust. We haven't had rain in months. I miss the mud. At least you had the dog to help you out.
brocho 26
Well, you're luckier than I was. I had a pair of jeans that had a small hole in them from wear and my dad demanded that I have my mom sew them rather than just throwing them away as I had originally planned to do. Well, I forgot all about it and wore them by accident one day, and I noticed a bunch of people giving me funny looks and laughing at the grocery store. I didn't figure out until after I had left that the hole had ripped a huge patch in my crotch. It only gets worse from here, though. In eighth grade I wore a pair of corduroy pants to one of my band concerts at a nearby college and somehow I managed to have a huge patch on my ass rip out, exposing my flower printed granny panties underneath. A bunch of college kids pointed and laughed as I sheepishly smiled and waved, as that was all I could really do. Luckily, a friend of mine lent me her jacket to tie around my waist and everyone got a good laugh out of the deal.
naviajack626 16
Exactly what I thought. It would really suck if it was a Great Dane that OP couldn't hold.
iMuffinKat 16
You could've been just walking and there was nothing to cover your crotch with...
freddygasman 18
you really "screwed the pooch" on that one
nzoid 8
Hot doggie
ER1C_fml 22
Lol today my 13 year old neighbour asked me why I was walking like a retard yesterday, at the school bus stop
revolvearoundme 15
I'm so confused. Were you not wearing underwear? If you were were they strange? Other than someone owning a Chihuahua I don't see a problem. Ripped your crotch? Going home to change? Ok. It happens and you're handling it right. Ripped crotch, using a small animal to "cover it" is much worse.