Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, I was on a work call when my coworker made an accidental Freudian slip. Thinking I was muted, I muttered, "That’s what she said." I wasn’t muted. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, I tried to "quiet quit" a Zoom meeting by muting myself and turning off my camera. Halfway through, I unmuted by mistake and blurted out, "I think they just like hearing themselves talk." Now, every time my boss says something, everyone looks at me. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML
Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML
Today, again I wrote out another FML. Again, I deleted it before posting. Every FML I write would seem like I'm just making stuff up, or would be so obviously me that it would just cause me grief. My life is just an endless stream of weird stuff I can't tell family or friends. FML
Today, at work I put myself squarely in the lame / old people category when I foolishly asked out loud what FML meant. FML
Today, in my online class, I accidentally unmuted my mic. Normally that would be fine… except today I decided to serenade myself with a silly song. I didn't realize until everyone started clapping at the end of the song. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Is that by Skrillex? So, you do an embarrassing thing in the present to erase embarrassing things from your past? Looks like you've set up an infinite loop.
ClaremoreZebra 8
Dafuq? I'm sorry, just try and train yourself to forget those embarrassments and do it in private. In your house, or your room. Good luck OP!
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Comments (251)
Thatoneginger 0
Perdix she busted some CAPS in your ass :)
kriz_allizwell 6
I think you should try something like " computer, erase all embarassing data, pronto"...especially effective if you wear a bluetooth headset and mirror shades....
gramie 8
I do it too. I think that it's an attempt by my brain to break out of the memory and get back to the present. I tend to vocalize only when I'm alone or with family. It might be a noise repeated many times ("buh-buh-buh-buh-buh...", or swearing ("F*ck-F*ck-F*ck-F*ck-F*ck...), or occasionally a sing-song bit of nonsense. No idea why my brain does it like that. Bad brain!
mangoqueen 8
I'm actually really excited to see I'm not the only one who does that. FYL, op. I know exactly how you feel. If someone hears it, I clear my throat like that's what I was trying to do in the first place. It makes me feel better even though I still look weird.
zeromarth 2
happens to me too
GermanOnslaught 13
Sounds like a type of turrets.
blink_kid 32
Tourettes?
joanniejore 7
I think only medication can fix that...
MyssMarsh 11
I do the same thing! But I make faces with it too.
Anthony94_fml 7
I do that to and sometimes I say "zowie" because it's my dogs name.
ZeroPath5 16
When that happens to me, I put the thought in a bubble in my head, and I place explosives from bombs to nukes around the bubble. I then completely blow up that bubble it helps me often, and sometimes I even permanently forget those moments :).