Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML
Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
...wtf? Seriously, darling...trespassing I understand. But firing missiles? What?
JizzKhalifa 0
throwing a square of chocolate off a building lol maybe a red squirrel can eat some when it's low on health
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Comments (137)
Drclino 0
perhaps "firing missiles" is some sort of euphemism for public defacation???
andacondakiwi 11
that be great if I were standing right below the building and the chocolate just landed in my hand, that'd make my day.
ownitx3 0
it's not nice to fire missiles.
dumbfunk29 0
wth???
DeathHead 0
SELECTIVE BREEDING should be enforced.
savvy_suzy 0
No, it can. If I look up mouth open looking to see what is going on and said piece flies in my mouth it could cause sufficient damage to be fatal.
chase929 0
probaly some kid who plays call of duty with no life
Midget9 0
Was it Tay Zonday that turned you in?
iTVrobot 0
this sounds really fake......
MustangGirL 0
Poor ants :(