Today, I was doing photography, and decided to climb onto the roof of a building to photograph the city. I dropped a square of chocolate over the edge just to appreciate the height. Apparently, somebody saw me. I was arrested and am now being charged for trespassing and firing missiles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML
Today, I was on my patio trying to take photos of the amazing sunset. My phone slipped out of my hands and landed on my downstairs neighbor’s patio. When I asked for it back, they slammed the door in my face. I tried to climb over and get it myself. They called the cops on me. FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, on a whim, I decided to try parkour. I climbed a chain link fence and fell off, right onto my face. Then the owner of the property shouted at me. FML
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML
Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML
Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
...wtf? Seriously, darling...trespassing I understand. But firing missiles? What?
JizzKhalifa 0
throwing a square of chocolate off a building lol maybe a red squirrel can eat some when it's low on health
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Comments (137)
adidjo 0
What do you expect, man? This is post 9-11 America.
adidjo 0
oops, I mean Australia... or is it Oceania? Darn Blonde moment :-)
GhostChemist 0
There is no way you'll do any time, well worth it to be able to tell your kids you got arrested for firing missiles
DivineGarden 0
hahahahahahahahahaha, those austrailians :P
Mittle 0
thats a bit extreme
SARSvirus79 0
They have buildings in Tasmania? :-P
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
this is Sparta!!!!!
Zebidee 9
Tell the cops you thought the chocolate was suicidal, and you went up there to try and talk it down, but unfortunately, it just didn't work out. See if they'll provide counselling. Still, if you _were_ trespassing, then YDI. If you threw something off a building then YDI. In fairness though, you're in Tasmania, odds on a person on the ground could have just tossed it back up to you. The tallest building in the state is only - what - 19 storeys?
green1eech 0
Ha funny you say that, my friend got charged with throwing a missile like object from a moving vehicle with intent to cause harm, he threw a slice of bread.
154rct 7
firing missles? no this is fake
Aced_fml 0
Besides, the terminal velocity of a penny is approximately 60 mph. Even with no updrafts or intervening rooftops, air resistance will keep a penny from going fast enough to seriously injure someone. I'd estimate the terminal velocity of a chocolate bar to be around 25 mph....hardly dangerous.
Zebidee 9
I love that you said "estimate" when you meant 'randomly made up a number out of thin air'.