Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, my mom and I staged an intervention for my alcoholic dad. Within minutes he'd turned everything around on us, claiming we're in no position to judge him for drinking since we use "too much water" when we shower. Apparently that's on the same level as being an abusive alcoholic. FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, on my 30th birthday, my mom, aunt, and sister staged an intervention instead of throwing a party. Apparently I’m “ruining my life” by being 300lbs and being "single for 5 years" and I need to “get my act together.” They treated me like I’m some sort of criminal and reduced me to tears. FML
Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
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Top comments
pinecone1414 6
Well, better than a true alcoholic
saIty 17
If only you posed with 6 beers on your belly. You could have argued that you wanted to create a six pack.
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Comments (196)
not_a_Boss 1
Denial- the first sign of a problem...
R34luver 5
Why did my comment end up here -_-
Keyman1212 14
23- you somehow managed to spell Bollocks differently three times, none of them being the correct spelling.
not_a_Boss 1
A
mrlopez 13
#24: Bollocking, or bollocks for short is the European/English equivalent of b*llsh*tting. Lotsa posts lately about correcting international slang on FML; what gives? *shrugs*
beggarman 4
'Talking bollocks' would equate to bullsh*tting... a bollocking is a telling off.
shadow2903 11
Ah parents...and you're legal drinking age too...tell them to chill out and FYL
every1luvsboners 11
Really it depends on where the bottles were. If they were in your arse I understand their concern. Anyone that can anally funnel three at one time has a serious anal addiction, a loose bung-hole and needs help immediately.
lilvic56 5
Always a pleasure to read your comments. Lol
False_Stupidity 42
And they need docbastard to surgically remove them from up their arse after the party :)
NotSuchAFunTime 9
My family did that.. But I was too drunk to remember what they were saying.. I don't have a problem!!
Bunnehs 0
How very British!
somewizdom 15
Can you count backwards from 10?
ThorneCrossed 9
Duh. Alcohol is the Devil's mouthwash!!!!! Haha. I know people who believe that
carli1912 0
Hahaha(: your life does suck!
SummerFever 8
Try saying the alphabet backwards.
SirEBC 7
The alphabet backwards.
ItsTheKing 10
Alphabet the?
SummerFever 8
Dammit, EBC.
idontknowyou123 0
How can you be an alcholic when you drink weak ass beer?
ikickgingers 15
I actually love bl... I only stray for killians Irish red.
False_Stupidity 42
I prefer to call it alcamaholic myself... Usually after a few.