Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML
Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML
Today, I was in a stall in a public restroom. Someone came in and started using one of the urinals. Somehow, before I knew it, I found I had just loudly whispered, "SOMEbody's taking a piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss." FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, at work, I was on the toilet for so long the motion lights turned off. I stood up, pants around my ankles and began waving my arms above the stall to get them to turn on again. At that exact moment, my boss walked in. FML
Today, at work, our customer service chat was empty all day, so I got up to go to bathroom. In the two minutes I was gone, three people tried to chat with me. Then I got a call from my manager, asking me why I wasn't doing my job. He told me to give advanced notice next time I had to pee. FML
Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
You were pressing the intercom button with WHAT? o_0
ZuraLasgeon 0
At least you weren't taking a huge massive noisey dump!
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Comments (54)
NoNameAtAll_fml 1
I guess your boss was pissed
Crunchy_fml 0
I see what you did there
InkGothical 0
In stage crew we get radios just like that and we turn them off or put them on the floor when we go to the bathroom.
chiodosluvr 0
LMAO. sucks for you. and sucks for people forced to listen to someone pee. but really what was pressing it?!
meanie_monday 0
I'm sure they would've liked it more if you had explosive diarrhea :)
Nightfallz 0
ydi don't take your work things like tools and radios that other people use to the bathroom. other people have to use that and I'm sure they don't want you peeing near it
glitter_kiss 0
O.O rofl,this one had me laughing for 5 mins straight...xD i agree with # 16
Phallus_fml 0
You nasty racist puta!!
Panther_fml 0
wtf is your problem?? How in the world is this racist?? If anyone is a puta, it is you for putting such a meaningless, dumb comment.
tigerarmy_13 0
totally agree with #11! it could've been worse.
YDIForSure 0
Indeed, you're life is ******. I was one of the ones who moderated this. Glad to see its up and running. :D Embarassing as hell though, watch what you're doing lol.
fml_buster 0
No one cares if you moderated this or not!
MissxKim 0
lmao i sooo agree with #11 ahahahaa!! if she/he was then that would be even more hilarious