Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my idiot roommate finally realized that a girl who follows you everywhere like a puppy, always wants to talk to you, and "accidentally" sends nudes is into you. Unfortunately, she's since moved on from him. Now I get to listen to him whine about how unfair it all is. FML
Today, after watching my roommate and her boyfriend be all lovey dovey for months, I now have to watch two of our other friends flirting as well. I'm painfully single and have been struggling to change that for years. FML
Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML
Today, I was chilling at home when my roomie cruised in with a baddie on his arm. She turned out to be a total ho and started trying to get in my pants while he was sitting RIGHT THERE. I did everything I could to shake her off and in the end I just asked her to leave. Fuck, I feel bad for him. FML
Today, as I recently starting having a huge crush on this one guy, my friend told me she told him about the crush, and that he reacted positively. I made a move, only to find out he has a partner. I've tried distancing myself to get over him but he befriended all my friends and is now in our group chat, and the crush has only intensified. FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, while out shopping, my fiancé started talking to a cashier in a flirty manner as if I wasn't there, and casually referred to me as his housemate. I felt my heart break, but I'm too weak to bring it up with him. FML
Today, after years of crushing over my best friend, I finally got the guts to tell her about my feelings, only to find out she has been secretly dating my roommate. I could not have been more depressed. My whole life feels shattered. FML
Today, after months of searching, I finally found a flat that is affordable and with amazing flatmates. The catch? I'm developing feelings for one of them. My heart sinks when they have a date over. I'm also in a relationship. The situation is eating me up inside. I hate that I'll have to go. Cupid, go f*ck yourself. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
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Top comments
BigBoy32 11
So get naked in front of him
itisme_fml 9
Stop being a doormat. That’s never attractive. If you need an motivation, remember that you are still stuck with him, while it’ll be a while before he can meet her. Whether or not he falls for you, you’ll at least come out with your dignity intact if you are not a doormat.
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Comments (12)
sickerthanyou 13
You just need to do him. Wear something sexy and ask him to do something in your room for you then bang him. 99% of guys will not say no to a girl wanting sex with them