Today, I decided to be productive and work from a coffee shop. Just as I was about to talk to my boss on a video conference call, the barista shouted, "Latte for Batman!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ordered my usual at my local coffee shop. The barista asked, “Name for the order?” For some reason, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Latte.” So they called out “Latte” when it was ready, and I had to shame-walk to the counter. FML
Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I went to meet a potential client at Starbucks all the way across town about designing his website. I was extremely excited because I really need the work. I sat for an hour. Turns out he was across the street, at the other Starbucks. FML
Today, I made myself a perfect latte and sat down at my desk, feeling pretty good about my day so far. My cat then jumped on the desk, slipped, and kicked my mug directly into my keyboard. The cat looked me confused while coffee seeped into my laptop. It was only 9:02 AM. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to order coffee on my own instead of using the app. When the barista asked, “Name?” I froze and blurted out my email address. They called out my full name plus numbers and I had to claim it like that was normal. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
Today, after I spent years making fun of people who buy expensive coffee every morning instead of making it at home, and after I got a remote job and started living alone, I realized the barista at the café is currently the closest thing I have to a social life. Yesterday she remembered my order and I nearly felt emotional. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Everyone should order something under the name of Batman at some point in their lives, just so that you can go up and say "I'm Batman"
BurnInDemonFire 39
Was it your latte, or were you surprised there would be that much noise in a busy public location? In the future, work from home, and enjoy the refreshing taste of Folger's in your cup.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
L0life29 6
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Everyone should order something under the name of Batman at some point in their lives, just so that you can go up and say "I'm Batman"
BurnInDemonFire 39
Was it your latte, or were you surprised there would be that much noise in a busy public location? In the future, work from home, and enjoy the refreshing taste of Folger's in your cup.