Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
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Top comments
omgepiphany 0
You still live at home with your mother, and you're sexing up girls all night while she's within earshot? You fool, YDI
djspazy 0
lmfao, every time you hear your gf moan, you will think of your mother. score 1 for mom
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Comments (159)
appleworker 0
@50 Why does it matter what age he is having sex at? I am sure you had sex when you were young. While I don't think it is a good idea for 14-year-old kids to have sex I think it is a decision they have to make. That is about the age you START making decisions because your parents don't have full control over your life anymore. I got caught doing the same thing, but my parents just asked me to keep it down. It was kind of funny because I have really cool parents. I do live on my own (about 2600 miles away from my parents), but I was home during the holidays visiting.
Frnnkdlxx 0
good for you. you made her moan. i'm sure your mothers proud
Lucicx0 0
o daaamn, mad awk.
kagome_eb 0
hahaha eww your mother sounds like her! LMAO aww poor you now you can never do it with your girl cause you will be reminded of it
Froghop 0
tell her your gf has sleep apnea or epilepsy and then your mom would have looked like a big retard
fcuk_mylife 0
your mom sounds ******* weird.
comeback_fml 0
maybe it WAS your mom last night.... that is hot!!
arieanacrust 0
lmfao at #12
FuzzMonkey09 0
Do you need ear bleach?
hopelessavenger 0
it is a persons choice to have sex at whatever age so people who preach otherwise need to keep it to themselves. that being said a person could be 17 or 18 and still be in high school. i feel that that most people would agree that that is an age at which you can make your own decisions on sex and you are still living at home so there is no reason that depending on this persons age that they should have their own place.