Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing, and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was ecstatic. Apparently, she'd been trying to figure out how to break up with me for the past four months. FML
Today, after “talking” and flirting with my team lead for a few months, we started dating and I quit my job, which I really liked, and started working somewhere I didn’t just so we could be together. Now, two weeks after quitting, she breaks up with me. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML
Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
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Top comments
lizzzie_fml 0
You got OWNED!! Then again, clearly she's a jackass if she's willing to threaten her (and your) health like that.
AeryFairy 10
I can't decide whether this is funny or sad. I'm leaning towards funny though. Go find someone better.
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Comments (182)
Green12324 0
Don't worry, in 10 years when she's still smoking because she was already addicted you can laugh at her. She's spending thousands of dollars a year on cigarettes, and killing herself, all because she wanted to break up with you in a jack ass way.
80sFrountChick 0
It's ok Henry! I won't judge you! Haha!
theSarahnator 0
Personally, I think the joke's on her. You're the lucky one in this situation. Go and find someone better who won't do something so ridiculous to get rid of you! (:
flintstone 0
Look at the bright side...........Maybe she'll die of lung cancer.
literalmanchild 0
by the way this was in an episode of seinfeld and if you are an american living in japan as i presume you are since your english is too good, there is no excuse for this seinfeld is basically more american than a bald eagle shedding a single tear while eating apple pie and completing a super bowl-winning touchdown
shootingstar8D 0
She's not worth your time.
CapnAsshole 0
You should stalk her, so she smokes even more to try to keep you away, and eventually gets cancer. That'll teach her a lesson.
machete_fml 0
BITCH.
colormestupid 0
i hope she gets addicted and can't stop. that would be a kick in the face for her.
jessxoxo28 5
thats a stupid way to make some1 break up with u... she's risking her life so u would dump her. i agree with #41
Stormx 0
You don't risk your life by having a few cigarettes more than you do by stepping outside your house. Grow up.
DrewBoy 0
Oh wow, so cool, look at you. That nihilist attitude might seem pretty cool in your freshman philosophy class but guess what? You look like a tool to any normal person. Grow up.
Mikey_Mayhem 0
oh wow, so cool, you know how to say "nihilist" but really you missed the point of what he said because it has nothing to do with nihilism its about how smoking a couple of cigarettes wont kill you in fact most of my grandparents smoked a pack a day from since they were sixteen and they lived to over eighty, so your the real tool here
TheHeroOfTime 0
I think the day when all people allowed on the interwebs know when to say you're instead of your will be a great day. A wonderful day. YOU ******* TOOL
f_alltheirlives 3
Dude, drop YOUR copy of "Mein grammar kampf" and jerk out YOUR issues cause YOUR breaking everybodys balls