Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML
Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML
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Top comments
xivilia 0
Wow, don't drink.. Try a safe alternative such as.... Smoothies.. Mmmm, everyone loves smoothies.....
bxrv43 0
did the cab have a window?
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Comments (211)
Chrissykins 0
Ydi. I would have thrown up out the window.
imabroncofan 0
Only way this could be more funny is if you were a man with a gucci handbag. and then acidentally missed half of the barf so half of it ended on the seats. LMAO
dreamofme 0
Maybe you're still drunk? Were you "taken" some vodka with this FML? Lol. Totally your fault... ...taken. haha.
jll1012 0
seriously... taken? douche.
x0xcarolinex0x 4
...this is why you ask the driver to pull over. idiot.
xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0
It's not your fault. You were being kind and not puking all over him. It's unfortunate that you had to go through that, though.
Taneer 0
On the bright side, she WASN'T drinking and driving, thus earning huge points from me. I said FYL, though I'm not sure that's a compliment.
Gromie 0
Ouch!!! Such for u depending in how cute the bag was!!! Sucks for the driver to have a regergitated tip!!!
italianolite 0
ew...
beautyisahorse 0
Lush!