Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML
Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
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Top comments
killface_fml 0
And you should have told his friend in Spanish that your boyfriend has a very small penis but you've been too busy taking Spanish classes to find someone more satisfying.
cadenernest 0
your bf is a douche.
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Comments (136)
RLJJ 0
As #2-5 stated, your proper answer would be "¡ve al carajo, maricon!"
lilyenid 0
hahaha.... muy cierto! odio que la ganta tradusca las cosas mal
lost_in_lalaland 0
Dump his ass. You taking classes is cute and sweet, not boring.
rosiegrewup 0
And now he has nothing to do at all because you dumped him, right? Right??
Freudian_Slip 0
#22, How is calling a "******" going to do anything. That's more insulting to those of us who are gay than it would be to her boyfriend.
notmuch 0
Wow, this must have been one fantastic Spanish class. When I learn a new language, the first year or so is about doing small talk and ordering food or asking for the way. But you already learned enough to understand "I have nothing better going on"?
shaPOW 0
wow, that sucks. at least you learned a new language and found out how he really feels.
kukkakaalia 0
Wow, that is insensitive and amazingly stupid. : @26: I know what you mean about learning a language in a class. But some people are amazingly quick with picking up on a language, and she may have been doing some outside studying so she understood him much better.
notmuch 0
#28: Maybe I would agree with you if I had not just seen the episode of Scrubs where Turk secretly learned Spanish to surprise Carla, but then decides not to tell her because now he understands everything she doesn't want him to hear.
CPTobvious_fml 0
You really know how to pick 'em... By not saying "My exboyfriend" I have to ask.... Why are you still dating a dude if regards you as "nothing else better going on"? Maybe you should work on becoming better looking as well... hit the gym lady.
cantwhistle 0
you probably didn't understand him right. He probably said your a burrito and its gonna be tasty tonight.