Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML
Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
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Top comments
killface_fml 0
And you should have told his friend in Spanish that your boyfriend has a very small penis but you've been too busy taking Spanish classes to find someone more satisfying.
cadenernest 0
your bf is a douche.
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Comments (136)
laleona 0
you should've called him out on it.. "te entiendo, pendejo" y por que todavia te quedas con ese maldito hombre?
brittanycraze 0
haha, nice one #42.. and #20, boring, and ugly, ARE NOT hard words to learn in spanish.. OP, yeah that's ridiculous.. I am fluent in spanish, and i love going places like restaurants and stores and listening to people talk to each other.. On occasion, it's fun to hear the things they say about me.. I'm just glad no ones ever said anything mean about me.. Dump his ass.
sleepless15_p 0
Dump that asshole for insulting you and then kick him in the balls for doing it in spanish.
kellster 2
What a ********!
psychospice484 0
Dile que es un gilipollas y que se vaya a tomar por culo ;)!
mnkit 0
dile que no es tu culpa que él sea alguien que necesite hacer sentir a otro menos para sentirse mayor.
mariposa25 0
"Y ahora no tienes nada."
medahj 0
what a jerk! is this the first time he insulted you like this?
serious1y 0
he works at a restaurant, doesn't he? dump him.
JuJuBeeSunshine 0
Call immigracion, pronto!