Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, I was the last to go upstairs, so I had to turn off the lights. My tired brain decided to use my phone flashlight to check if all the lights were out. FML
Today, I spent 10 minutes on the phone with tech support before realizing my “broken” printer was unplugged behind the desk and had been the whole time. The agent waited in silence as I was checking, but I was too embarrassed to tell him, so I hung up the phone in shame. FML
Today, I saw a gun on my dad's bedside table. I knew it wasn't real, so I picked it up and posed like a badass. Then I shot a hole in their bedroom TV, blew out my eardrums, and my mom flew in and started screaming at me. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML
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Top comments
astro_plastic 0
Little do they know, their printer is actually Optimus Prime.
shorty1989 0
wow paranoid!
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Comments (139)
iceman05 0
Cmon OP. There are no printers that sound even remotely like a gun being cocked. Also if someone is going to come in your house and shoot you Im sure they would **** thier gun ahead of time. listen for the click of the safety from now on and then drop to the floor.
youthink_fml 0
Have you ever even heard the sound of a gun "loading" (or even know what you're trying to say)? It sounds nothing a printer.
erjaguam 0
I assume you live with people who own guns? or you live in ghetto neighborhood? move.
rawr_trick119 0
lmao. YDI.
NoteMyGrin 0
Haha! I applaud your quick reactions! Just imagine, if it really were a gun, you'd be totally safe! (:
HOB0HUNTER 2
#126-totally safe since guns can't be aimed at people on the ground....
dave666_fml 0
how do you know what a gun loading sounds like? o_0
blackdays 0
damn this is one hell of a funny post! i can just imagine it happening to me n all lol.
mikcand 0
XD pwned by a printer
jennbugg 0
nice one
Jojoo13_fml 0
omg haha that noise just happened to me! like right as i was reading this :)