Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, my dog discovered his new toilet by taking a dump on his own bowl. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
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Top comments
lookatstupid 0
Hurry, before it starts to smell....
Anonnamus 0
Two shitty FMLs in a row? Nice.
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Comments (111)
kotana191 8
actually it's good if it starts to smell. then you can find it easier
Vita_1 30
Lol if ya gotta go, you gotta go.
MiLM 37
Oh, God, that's ******* hilarious! But why the hell did you scream in the first place??
ellemacho 12
at least it wasn't runny
dihannasaurus 9
i laughed so hard at this.
Dallydude 2
At least they were turds and not puddles. That has happened to me before.