Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I was taking a bath and needed shampoo. I leaned on the soap holder to get some and it came off the wall. Huge ants started pouring out running up the walls, down the walls, EVERYWHERE. I ran out of the bathroom screaming, completely naked. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML
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Top comments
Hacksaw 4
Turn in your penis and get out; you are a man no longer.
jloveee 0
hahaha your sister is awesome :)
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Comments (159)
deepersamwise 0
ur little sis is a legend
ericlam2727 0
little sister doesnt mean like -12 it could mean he's 18 and his sister is like 16
hXcsoccerplaya 0
look down. what you thought was a protrusion is really an intrusion. YDI. who runs out of a bathroom screaming because of a cricket? I know many women who would just smash it and go on with life. what a little girl.
monster_tamer 11
I'd probably just throw it down the toilet... not as messy. =)
BenignScientists 0
Wow talk about a *ZINGER*
breakingdawnxx3 0
what the hell is that from? lol it sounds so familiar!
sexkitten129 3
lol 24 zinger
powersticks 16
If you sister isn't freaking out about seeing you naked then that might mean that's she's teasing you becuase she likes you. If I was a girl and saw my brother's junk I'd be needing therapy and staying away from my bro as much as possible.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Uh. What. XD LMAO
alexandraa_fml 0
WTF.
Peroxide 3
Sounds like you were turned down by your sister and are now bitter. Don't worry, try one of your cousins.
sutianneli 13
Or therapy?
Mustardnight 3
God damn if that doesnt make you want to de-man yourself, i don't know what does! Maybe michael jackson can answer that. Oh and btw, awesome sister.
ambyellen 0
"de-man" is my new favorite verb, thanks!
AtoZnumbersand_ 1
I modded this, yes, no one cares... But I have a point. Some I click yes too, when I think 'eh'. Then some I click yes too and I just KNOW that i'm going too see it on the main page in a couple of hours. Rarely happens, but this is one of those.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Maybe he was 30 and her 29, moron.
SenGaeriel 3
I am so glad the OP said balls instead of some lame term.
chellinha93 0
Wow I would be traumatized for the next week or so if I saw my brother's junk. I wouldn't talk to him or even look at him. Eww.... And btw u do sound like a girl. LOL.