Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
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Top comments
TotallyAradical 14
That chick's got some mad skillz.
mattlw 25
Im so sorry you all had to see that. I will buy her some tinted windows.
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Comments (55)
perdix 31
Oooh, I love a girl who can handle a stick! She can pop my clutch anytime ;)
gc327072 31
So would a flesh-light be like cvt or something?
Wizardo 34
The Jizzmobile rides again! Jizzing into the sunset...
klovemachine 24
Jizzing ain't easy ;)
perdix 31
#29, you may want to visit a urologist.
hashshim 23
Perfect comment hahaha
Cowgirl1293 26
Thats just gross. No way in hell yould I ever want to see that!
limitedition 25
Some people pay big money to see that.
NoFlippinWai 24
could have been worse: at least it wasnt a german shepard... was it?
perdix 31
#35, sometimes it's not the right time for a *lowers sunglasses* previous FML reference.
EarlFug 19
Only problem here is the wrong person was driving.
Konstant23 3
And they say women can't drive stick.
slacker_69 6
did anyone else think of the song mercy? lol
UnluckyGenius 21
She must of confused the passengers crank for the stick shift.
slacker_69 6
that happened to me and my gf once....I'm jk lol
MWidderAUDI 14
jk you dont have a girlfriend?
LarryLaDouche 13
Just kidding he doesn't exist. It has all been an elaborate rouse!
hashshim 23
I thought we weren't supposed to use texting language? Or does everyone else think that rule makes no sense?
iamsolid 11
Were you in standstill traffic too?? I also came to Florida for spring break and saw many things in traffic that I can never unsee. I feel you, OP.