Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Ohh, you startin' to piss me off, ya little piglet son of a bitch. Call meeee ;)"
blackscent 0
wat the hell..
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Comments (85)
porsche944 0
Screwtaylor, That's the plan. The whole point of the fml is that the old gay guy was feasting on the OP's male ass. You said "She could have..." and I was just telling you that he's a man.
screwtaylor 0
Oh, my mistake. :|
mrda 0
Yummm. LOL
jonny2x4 0
"You need to stretch out those creamy hamstrings."- Herbert the Pervert
thethreestooges 0
Haha, reminds me of the PE teacher I had freshman year. I feel your pain.
plexico 4
You bastard! The poor old man had chapped lips. You should have been a good guy and offered him some Chap-Stik. If you didn't have any with you, smegma would do.
Intoxicunt 6
Haha, that word gets used a LOT in my house. The guy should learn the joy of felching. Then his lips will never be dry!
stainbroo 0
how do you know he had chapped lips? you make it sound like you were there and know for a fact that the creepy old man had chapped lips.
allmidnighteyes 11
plexico IS the old man ;D
Intoxicunt 6
Lol @ #44. I concur! So Plexico, how was that smegma? By the way, #44, you're cute. One of the first attractive males I've seen here. :)
Unregistered 0
right cus emo asians are all the rage with girls at this time right
allmidnighteyes 11
Haha thanks, Intoxicunt :]
SomeonePosting 0
That'd be funny if it were true! Unregistered, you're a ****. Knock it off. Go have a hate-mainstream-anything wank elsewhere.
Intoxicunt 6
Whoo! *Throws panties at the Asian guy* XD
allmidnighteyes 11
LOL
Intoxicunt 6
Lmao. Mercy, you're amazing.
LeedsFML 0
Isn't felching done with a straw?
RobDug 0
I know what boys like....I know what guys like....I know what boys like...boys like...boys like me... XD
youEQUALtosser 0
I was going to just laugh at this and go on, but then I noticed it was posted by a man. Hahaha. That made it so much funnier. Herbert will be driving along more often.
Man_person 0
wtf. Honestly, who cares. If he likes it, he likes it! Its not an emergency that you have to call 911 #4.
shootingstar8D 0
Ur a pedifile magnent
SookMauNoots 0
america is so ******