Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML
Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML
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Top comments
domestica 0
you can't lead a dog on like that and then get all offended when he gives you what you asked for
Vasir 2
HAHA Fail. You asked for it, bud.
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Comments (172)
mcullen21 0
hahahahahahahahahaha the best part is today i was petting my friends dog....
Aldebaran_fml 0
Poor dog....
random_thought 0
pahahahhaha! what kind of dog?
lilac_lover 0
lol. at least their mouths are clean.
cactus_fml 0
Aww, lighten up. Dogs have a habit of licking peoples' faces, and I've seen people do kissy and makeout faces back at them. Plus, it's not uncommon for a dog to stick it's tongue in your mouth if you laugh or something. That happened to me one time when my cousin's huge black lab licked my face and I laughed it basically licked the roof of my mouth one good time. It was gross. And LOL #150.
Mr_Resetti 0
If you can't even be around animals without thinking of ***********, then Bob Barker would tell you "Get your SELF spayed or neutered"
AXavierB 1
You should've told him you didn't want to go that far on your first date.
LeCorsaire_fml 0
the dog likes you.
hypergeezer 0
WTF why would you do that?!
karlajeggle 0
Why in the world would you pretend to make out with a dog?