Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML
Today, a cop pulled me over and started bitching me out. He was certain I'd been drinking, because, "Nobody goes to Albertacos this late at night unless they're drunk." FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML
Today, I was driving home. I desperately needed the bathroom, so I was speeding a little bit. A cop pulled me over and gave me hell. He said he'd heard my story a hundred times and didn't believe me. I couldn't hold it and ended up marinating in my own piss while he ran my plates. FML
Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
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Top comments
gracehi 33
"No, sir, it's you who stinks of booze." I wonder how that went down.
Welshite 40
Ask him you could borrow his beer goggles since he must have the latest generation. You know, the ones that affect your sense of smell.
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Comments (58)
FlyingPie 17
Whoever smelt it dealt it?
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
I'm surprised he didn't smell bacon.
bookie1981 7
That may explain why he's a rent-a-cop and not on the police force.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I swear to drink I'm not god.
Vanshikap 24
Make him take a field sobriety test, OP!
LowExpectations 30
I guess you could say he was (dramatic pause) ... Drunk with power.
brandoneyez1 25
What do we want? A follow up.. When do we want it ? Now.
tranced_ 45
drinking is a crime?
slyde32 12
it is at certain events and in public (in some areas)
buckdharma 38
Did he give you your Miranda Lambert rights. You have the right to remain silent, but if you give up that right, maybe you could sing a little. You have the right to be accompanied. I have a harmonica present.
AerBear115 15
*smelled A smelt is a baby fish of sorts.
jeesh10 10
Both smelt and smelled are grammatically correct.
rocker_chick23 27
Here's a guide to common words and how they are spelled in Canada and the UK. Smelt=smelled spelt=spelled favourite= favorite colour=color recognise= recognize organise= organize. You understand?