Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to a series of almighty explosions in the middle of the night. Turns out I fell asleep with my AirPods in to a “Soothing rain” soundtrack, which had turned to “Storms and thunder” at some point. I pissed the bed. FML
Today, I went to sleep at 7am. I learned once that Indians used to drink tons of water before bed to force themselves awake so I did that in case my alarm (which I hooked up to my speakers) didn't work. The alarm worked, but the shock of the blasting sound made me pee my pants. FML
Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML
Today, my water pills are almost identical to my sleeping pills, so not only did I not get any sleep, I had to get up every 15-30 minutes to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my own voice yelling, “GET UP, YOU LAZY CUNT!” on repeat. It took me a moment to remember I'd drunkenly recorded my own alarm last night because I thought it would “motivate” me. It scared me so much I fell off the bed. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
MPee3 player did you say?
Olympiakos10 15
I guess those weren't the wet dreams you were hoping for.
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Comments (65)
catsmeow123 11
Sorry about your situation, OP! You probably should buy one of those sleep sound machines instead. They have different sounds (rain, ocean waves, brook, birds) and you can set them up for a certain amount of time, just so you could fall asleep. This way it won't play all night and you'll be spared the unpleasantries.
abbyycarper 13
Wrong kind of wet dream
geekchick88 17
I use a white noise machine on the train setting to help me sleep...and right now, I'm thanking every god I've ever heard of that this has never happened to me. My husband would NEVER let me live that down...he still talks about the time I did spirit fingers in my sleep and told him I needed to use them to stop the hurricane, and that was 6 years ago.
nurchok 15
I don't know what it is, but when others told me, I didn't believe until I had kids and tried it myself: when you hold a baby for a pee, baby might start if the tap is running. But I downloaded Android app that I can set to turn off after a set period of time. Hope you can sleep, OP.
geekchick88 17
My other comment is supposed to say rain, not train...but, of course, it wouldn't edit and now it won't let me reply to my own comment. I can't complain, though...this mobile app works better than most.
nicole_2792 8
That sucks. You should look into other White Noise, OP. Like forest sounds, moving train sounds, road sounds, ticking clock etc. They can work just as well as rain!
ShakeDisPlace 10
Sounds like you might have to start wearing some pull-ups to bed OP.
swordidfate 13
Witty comment
RedPillSucks 33
wow. that really works? I thought that was an urban myth.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Well at least ya got some sleep. Better than what I get about 4 hours and not all at once. Since 2005. Hope ya get better sleep more often