Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent the afternoon transplanting a whole bunch of corn seedlings that sprouted, even turning over the new soil with compost and fertiliser. While watering them in, I realised they're actually all just weeds. FML
Today, I learned that the $30 plant that I've been tediously tending to and extremely proud of for thriving is actually just a subspecies of ragweed. FML
Today, I left outside a bowl of fine herbs I had painstakingly grown from seeds, so they could get some sun. What did they get instead? My upstairs neighbor's filthy soapy water from washing her balcony. Three quarters of the seedlings are now dead. FML
Today, three weeks after I finally tried my hand at gardening by planting a bunch of herbs and was so proud of my work, I found out that I had actually been watering weeds this whole time. My herbs were actually the things I was trying to eliminate. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML
Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML
Today, my neighbor finally cut the grass on his front lawn. At 2 in the morning. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
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Top comments
george_s_4 32
Call an exterminator, get the grubs taken care of, then replant the grass. I know it seems like a lot since you've already put in so much effort but if you keep trying to fix the grass while there's still grubs it's just not gonna grow very well if at all
Tomato_Cheese 22
Use a flamethrower.
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Comments (29)
Higamalia 19
Funnily enough #5 isn't far off. It's common practice for farmers to burn sections of land. This actually encourages the grass to grow back healthier and greener minus pests. This is obviously pretty drastic but the more you know :)
Tomato_Cheese 22
Hell yea I ain't
Thegoofygoober 15
Weeds are coming
DrummerWS 23
This is probably the most adult Fml I've ever read
Lifedowngutter 8
I'm still in my twenties, but I guess that does make me a technically "adult."
bloodyfreak_fml 4
Get some chickens....should take care of the grub and fertilize your lawn at the same time
False_Stupidity 42
And then when the chickens are nice and fat from feasting on grubs, dinner is sorted.
Lsalt007 6
I always hear hungry people say they want to grab some grub. Just invite those people over and viola! 2 birds one stone.
Talented73 54
In the Northeast U.S., in early to mid September, de-thatch the existing lawn down to the bare crowns. Apply "milky spore disease" powder at 1/2 tsp on the soil surface at intervals of 1 foot apart, taking care not to inhale or ingest powder, or get in eyes, and be sure to wash off skin and clothing. Get a large bale of sphagnum peat moss and about 6 bags of top soil. Sift peat moss and soil through chicken wire with 1/4 inch gaps, and mix thoroughly. Set apart approximately 1/4 of this mixture in a separate pile, to mix with your grass seed. Select a pure variety of "tall, turf-type fescue" such as Jaguar or Rebel II. Pay the extra money and get a mixture free of "garbage grass". Combine seed with smaller pile of soil/peat mixture. put in small buckets and distribute by hand, evenly across your lawn. Top-dress with remainder of mixture. Water well, and for the next three weeks, don't let it dry out for a minute. Don't even THINK about mowing it for at least a month. After first mowing, apply fall lawn fertilizer. The milky spore disease will take care of the grub problem organically and permanently within two years, and you'll have the best lawn in the neighborhood for the next 20 years.